josh and i are lucky enough (or cursed enough) to have 2 anniversaries per year. i'm feeling rather cursed at the moment. why are certain days in a year so bloody important to females like me? why do we have to be so nostalgic? it doesn't seem fair, especially since men don't tend to see the importance, and then what do you have? a morning full of unspoken words and uncommunicated expectations mixed with a couple of renegade tears that my weakened floodgates could no longer hold. (much to my dismay.) could we just press rewind until the alarm goes off at 5.15am again? that would be lovely.
may 21st 2004 was the day that josh and i were married. i had just flown, the day before, from vancouver with a 2-week round trip ticket clutched firmly in my hand, heart beating like never before, hoping and praying that the customs people would not ask me why i was traveling to san diego, or worse, scan my passport and find out that i was engaged to an american. crossing the border with the intent to marry is illegal. rather than feel the thrill of adventure that day, i felt sick to my stomach until i was on the plane, descending towards the land of the free and the home of the brave. we had to get married this way so that all of our plans for the "big wedding" wouldn't be for nothing. we had been waiting for months for my fiance visa to come through, (my ticket to legally wed an american) but it was taking way too long, so we took matters into our own hands. to ensure that our wedding would happen, we got married a month and a half earlier.
unlike some quickie weddings that lack romance, ours was wonderful. my mom and sister and best friend all flew down to stand alongside josh's family and friends as we said our vows on the beach, bare foot and all.
july 8th 2004 was the day that josh and i got married...again. this was the day that i had dreamed of since i was a little girl, the day i had been planning for the previous 10 months. our favourite lecturer and principal of capernwray, rob whittaker flew from england to marry us in a little dutch village in washington. this was the big event and, even though i walked down the aisle towards a man that i already called my husband, i felt that none of the romance was missing. i was proud to re-state my vows for all to hear and to witness.
"this is my lover, this is my friend..." -Song of Songs 5:16
and if truth be told, i'd do it all again in a heartbeat. unspoken words, uncommunicated expectations, renegade tears & all.
i love you, josh stewart.
forever your,
~h
4 comments:
Heidi,
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't beleive it's been a year already since we shared in that joyous day with you and Josh! I will never forget the beauty of the day, the surroundings, and of all the love that was felt by everyone who attended! We love you guys! xoxoxox Linda and Dale
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! well mom said you got a digital! ah u lucky bums! i need one so bad! my camera is trashed. Well anyhoo...yes i guess we dont need to switch puzzles since i wont be here anymore. Altho i am bringing one to scotland! I wanna look for somethere. I wonder if they sell them there. hmmm i hope so! Well love you both and miss you terribly! See you in April! hopefully!
love you
cherie
Hey you two. Boy, we aren't doing very good at the special occasion greetings (on time). Hope you had a good 2nd 1st anniversary. May you continue to know God's provision and joy in your marriage. Love you. A, C, and S.
Heidi,
Your first paragraph of this entry was especially spectacular writing. You communicate so well that I think, "yeah, that's me too". "Renegade Tears" -- so true, they don't ask permission before they leak (or pour) our. May God continue to bless you and Josh as you journey together -- everything, renegade tears included, is better together.
Aimee
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