goodbyes

when josh and i were rapidly falling in love in england 2 1/2 years ago, i clearly remember the day he asked me the question, "would you ever move away from home?" i was surprised at how readily my answer came. i told him, "yes." up until that point, i never in a million years would have expected to move away from my family and friends and all that i held dear, just for a guy. obviously i hadn't met the right guy until then.

even though i knew that i'd be moving away, i had absolutely no idea what it would actually feel like. i have had many bouts of homesickness, lonliness and feelings of not really belonging in this part of the world. after a year of residing in this country, things are much more familiar. i now know how to pronounce things "correctly", rarely get lost, and am nearly fluent in farenheit. still, it can be hard sometimes. frequent phone conversations and emails could never make up for chatting over coffee or day-long shopping trips.

my parent's visit was wonderful. they arrived thursday afternoon (armed with canadian chocolate and enough puzzles to last us a year) and stayed until monday morning. my mom and i had a full day to ourselves on friday. we eventually made it to la jolla (after an accidental detour to downtown san diego) where we strolled along the beach and talked and talked. we also discovered a lovely french bistro where we shared a panini sandwich and a slice of the most decadent, delicious chocolate mousse cake i have ever tasted.

on saturday, my parents took josh and i out to black angus for steak, and on sunday, josh's whole family came over for a bbq and swimming and cupcakes for three birthdays (my mom's, josh's mom's and john's--he turned one) after everyone had left, my mom and i managed to escape for one last coffee together. we are blessed to have the most wonderful mother/daughter relationship and i count her as one of my closest friends.

at 6am on monday, i stood next to josh on our back patio and watched my mom and dad get into their little red car and drive away. you know those times where you try so hard to be stoic, but you find you have little control over it, and your face just sort of crumples? this was one of those times. as their tail lights blurred in a pool of tears, i had an overwhelming urge to run to their car, jump in, and tell them, "i'm going with you! take me home!" and yet the urge even more overwhelming was to lean into my husband's comforting arms and remain right where i belong--by his side. he is my family. he is my home.