Wednesday, January 23, 2008

party. tristan's crib. 11:30pm.

so, the whole swaddle-weaning thing is not going so well. who knew that, even after i'd sewn the armholes of the wearable blanket shut, my son would somehow get his arms out of the neckhole? you'd think that being so intent on breaking free, he would be happy once less confined, but no way. tonight was the first night that i really tried VERY hard to get him to sleep with his arms free. 30 minutes of tears later, i gave up and swaddled his arms. he dropped off to sleep for about 15 minutes (enough time for me to get nice and comfortable and sleepy in my bed) before escaping AGAIN. so now, rather than being interrupted from my precious sleep, i've decided to vent a bit and get interrupted from the computer instead. so far i've re-swaddled him 4 times and it's not even midnight yet. oh, there he goes again...

its times like this when the thought of having another baby scares the spit out of me. how am i supposed to handle a nursing infant who doesn't know night from day, when my oldest hasn't really gotten the hang of sleeping through the night yet and considers 5:30am a great time to wake up for the day?

my mom has promised me that having such a tricky child will ensure that my next one is a breeze. i've told her that means that if my next child despises sleep as much as tristan does, then she gets to keep it!

oh no, don't go thinking i'm about to announce that i'm pregnant or anything. we're not planning on making another little person yet, but as the months go by and the time we agreed upon looms closer, i find myself getting nearly panic stricken with the idea of having two.

that is when i breathe deeply in and out, and while i'm breathing out, i'm praying for God's peace to surround me and to take all of my anxieties away. there. that feels better already.

he's been quiet for about 10 minutes. dare i get warm and cozy in bed again? yes, i think i dare :)


Dena said...

that's what time i went to sleep last night too! of course it was 2:30am for me. I think i'd rather have my kink in my back than the screams though. happy snoring (hopefully)...i've got blog problems, will be calling you later! :o)

Shannon said...

Oh Heidi, hugs for you. Don't let the thought of more little persons overwhelm you yet. Right now I am so super overwhelmed if I think too hard about it. But if I just breathe and (pray every second for peace) then I find i have just enough strength. Even if it is only for that hour. Each baby is so very different-- but they all cry a lot :O) And they are worth every second but you already know that!

I have a miracle blanket for Bradley, I wonder if you could make one in a bigger size for Tristan? It's like giant straight jacket.

Grandma J. said...

Hang in there Heidi (like what other choice do you have?!), this too shall pass. Hope you feel rested today and that Tristan adjusts to his "freedom" soon. Hugs and prayers to you.

Sara said...

Two is a piece of cake, it's the third one that is scary!

Lovella said...

hugs, hugs, hugs .. .

I don't have any answers but next time I'm awake in the middle of the night .. .I'll say a prayer for the little escape artist.

kelly said...

praying for some success, however that comes for you!!!
i promise you, this will be a distant memory, though i know that in the middle of it, that seems laughable.
hang in there!

Ginny said...


I don't think that you've ever said, but does he nap without being swaddled? If he doesn't, maybe that would be the place to start unswaddling.

Alvin & Denise Engler said...

We had to swaddle ours too, and we thought we were pretty good at making sure they couldn't escape. We only managed to do this until about 6 months though -- you must have quite the rock-solid technique!

When they kept busting out and (despite our best efforts) it was clear that swaddling just wasn't working anymore, we just bit the bullet and let them cry it out.

With Josh it was a few days of pure torture for all, but I kept reminding myself that I was doing it for his own best interest. He needed to learn how to sleep for his own development, AND so he could have a well-rested, energetic mom to care for him. We stuck to it and he caught on to the new way of sleeping. I started going in to the room every 5-10 minutes of crying, with decreasing amounts of words and touch for comfort, and increasing time intervals between visits.

Cherith cried constantly in the night for the first year, especially after swaddling no longer worked. In desperation and without any other solutions (Josh's method didn't work for her, even though we tried for weeks!!) I ended up sleeping with her in her room. I was terrified that I'd be one of those parents who ends up co-sleeping with their 5 year old. It didn't fit with what we had planned or thought we wanted, but she sleeps just fine on her own now. Looking back, those sleepless nights cuddling her are some of my fondest memories. Cherith and I share a very close bond and I wonder if it has to do with how with all the extra cuddles?

You are the mom God chose for Tristan, and you'll do what's best for him. You're not going to ruin him, don't worry. Enjoy, enjoy.


Charlene said...

Hey Heidi, how's the little Houdini? still escaping?? I can relate to your feelings around having a second. I'm right there with you.
Have you ever checked out the babywhisperer site? i go there when i need fresh ideas or hope or just to know that others are going thru what i am. Joshua hates sleep too!! maybe it's a boy thing:)

Bonnie said...

I think kids have some 6th sense that tells them when we just fell asleep, and then they wake up crying. Drives me crazy!
I can relate too about debating having another or not. I think it just takes time...I'm only warming up to the thought now :)

Shannon said...

Denise has good advice (as usual)

Lord willing, I have rest of our life to sleep in the same bed as my husband. I have a tiny tiny window to snuggle and cuddle with my child while they sleep content and feeling protected and loved. This is why I cosleep. But it is also what works for me and my sanity. And my husband. He cant sleep if I am getting in and out of bed a million times.

I agree 100% though, you are the perfect mom for your child. No matter what, if done with love then it is the right thing for him.