Sunday, March 08, 2009

Feeling Sorry for Samuel


from the beginning, this pregnancy has been quite different than my first one. the excitement is there, but the over-the-top can't wait to hold him and dress him and nurse him and smell his little head thoughts are not the foremost on my brain most days. in fact, i have to admit that there are still twinges of fear when i look at the calendar and realize that little Samuel will be out of my womb in a mere 3 months and that once he's out, there will be no putting him back in!! i'm not sure if its like this for every second-time mom, but i think that having the same gender twice only contributes to the problem. getting "in the mood" by picking out brand new items for the nursery isn't the smartest thing to do when we already have nearly everything we need. and so, in thinking more about this recently, i've begun to feel a little bit sorry for samuel. so much so that i erupted into a puddle of tears the other night much to my dear husband's bewilderment just because he couldn't think of a single item to add to the gift registry i had just created.

and so i have decided (more for my benefit than samuel's) that our newest addition needs to have some things to call his very own. tristan was, even before birth, our "little all-star" with bedding and room decor and tiny little clothes all declaring his utter love for sports, though he had no choice in the matter (thankfully, all those balls in his room must have given him subliminal messages as an infant because he LOVES sports of all kinds.....so far). samuel's theme? well, the day that my neighbor brought me over the cutest and tiniest pair of cowboy boots i had ever seen, i was smitten. it was the first and only item that has been given specifically for samuel so far. josh grew up playing cowboys & indians and was a fan of john wayne practically from birth, so he has no problem with calling samuel our "little cowboy".

though samuel will inherit many of tristan's things, including the bedding and clothing, i wanted just a few things to add to his room that will make it sort of cowboy-ish. when i searched "cowboy baby" at etsy.com last night, i realized i had stumbled upon the jackpot! pages and pages of adorable handmade bibs and blankets and quilts and booties and so much more, all cowboy themed! after wiping the drool from my face, i went back to our registry (at
http://www.alternativegiftregistry.org/ in case you want to take a peek) and somehow refrained from adding all 500 cowboy baby items to the list and added only two.

for some reason, i now feel much better about treating my second child like he's a second child even before he is born. he won't give a hoot about cute little cowboy things in his room, but his mommy sure gives a hoot and right now, her fragile emotional state matters more than the fact that it is simply ridiculous to make a newborn wear cowboy boots, no matter how adorable they are.

8 comments:

Kelly Benita said...

i LOVE the theme you've picked, and I TOTALLY understand your want to give Samuel something that is HIS, whether or not he knows it when he's born.
it's important to support your emotional state, and i think what you're putting together for him is awesome. You're a great mom to Tristan, and Samuel is going to be born into a great, loving family.

Shannon said...

the second and more time around is harder sometimes in that regard. I cried while in labor with Wesley because I felt somehow I was denying Ellie something by having another baby. All these feelings, guilt or whathave are normal. Your love will multiply. When this little guy gets here, you will love him just as much as Tristan (As they grow, you will love them differently... but with the same fever)

Cowboys are cute. I thought of doing Toy Story for Brianna if she had been a boy. Round 'em up Woody type.

Adams family said...

As much as the little cowboy boots are not practical Scarlett has a pair of little pink ones and they are my favorite shoes she has. Cowboy theme will be so cute!

monk:s said...

Hey Little Cowboy,

We are looking forward to seeing your beautiful face!

-ML

Ginny said...

Heidi, should we buy him some wranglers and a belt buckle like hsi grandpas?

Grandma J. said...

Ye haw, little boy, can hardly wait ta meet ya.

Lovella said...

Heidi .. .
Praying for you and the little fella. .
XOXO

Thoughts on Life and Millinery. said...

After what he went through in that car wreak, maybe he will be a wild bull rider, or a bronco buster....