Sunday, July 05, 2009
a scary blessing
i truly cannot believe that my little baby boy is already one month old! time is flying by so fast...it feels like just yesterday that i held him in my arms for the first time. samuel is still such an easy baby so far. (have to add the "so far" in there, just in case!) he sleeps during most of the day, causing me to have to wake him up every now and then to feed him. he eats every 3 hours, and can go for up to 6 1/2 hours at night before crying for food. he has never cried hard for a long period of time, and because he is so easy going, i find myself following suit and just going with the flow. i have even attempted to feed him at longer intervals during the day, but have found that if i wait longer than 3 hours, he is too hungry and gulps his food down so fast that he throws it all up afterwards. this reflux kind of comes and goes...i'm trying to figure out all the things that may trigger it, but it can often seem really random. yesterday he had 2 episodes after nearly a week of not having one single episode! i may need to begin keeping a food journal to see if what i'm eating bothers him. he spends the night in his own room down the hall and its actually been really nice to not have him grunting and snoring next to me all night :)
for tristan's first year of life, i took a picture of him laying on the same blanket once a month so that i could see how quickly he was growing. i found the same blanket and i'm going to begin doing that with samuel as well, starting today. i'll post those pictures on the boys' picture blog. i've already mentioned that i'm quite relaxed with this baby, but i also have to say that i feel so much better all around. the recovery part of having a baby hasn't bothered me nearly as much this time around. i'm not sure if its because i've done this once before, or if i've just gone through so much pain in the past 3 months that this feels like a piece of cake. i'm also sure that having the baby out of my belly has caused my leg to heal much quicker. at my last physical therapy appointment, my range of motion was declared "perfect", though it takes a bit of stretching to get it there. i still need to work on my balance, which entails practicing standing only on my broken leg without holding onto anything. the swelling in my ankle is back, so i'm wearing some super tight tubes of fabric on my leg, which is really quite uncomfortable in this summer heat, but it sure helps. we've been getting out of the house quite a bit to see friends and family and it feels amazing to be doing these "normal" things that i haven't experienced in such a long time!
i mentioned in my last post that josh has been home because he has no work. this has been what i call a "scary blessing". scary for obvious reasons such as "what will we eat once our freezer is empty?" but the biggest blessing in terms of having this time together as a family, and we are enjoying it to the fullest. we're planning on using our zoo passes to make a trip there this week, we've been swimming at our friends' pool, we've shown tristan the dinosaur exhibit at the wild animal park, and we've had the opportunity to hang out with friends. i've also rarely had to worry about dealing with an unruly toddler while my baby cries for food. tristan gets to go with daddy to do errands, and when i need to run a few errands myself, i feed the baby and leave both boys with josh, or just take tristan with me. yesterday i took the boys to the park by myself. i'm so thankful that i have a pretty obedient little 2 year old because it was a piece of cake. i didn't have to worry about tristan running around in the parking lot or taking off in the opposite direction while asking him to "come here." samuel napped in the stroller while tristan sampled every single slide and made castles in the sand.
we really don't know what the future holds for our family, and this is such a cliche, but its so true that we know Who holds the future. God has blessed us incredibly and has always provided for us and we know He will continue to do so. so far we've never missed a bill and we always have food on the table for every meal. we are all healthy and so in love with each other and though, at times like this when we could easily let doubt and fear take over, we choose instead to rest in God and allow His peace to wash away our uncertainties. surrendering my worry is something i choose to do daily and i am ever grateful to have a God that not only takes those worries on Himself, but wants to do it. "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7