Monday, November 02, 2009
these days tristan's favorite color is green. he painted this dinosaur himself... i thought he did a great job of the stripes. he asked me to paint "Jesus cross" in red all across the top. he has been spotting "Jesus crosses" all over the place, from telephone poles to church steeples to the letter "t" printed just about anywhere. he loves that his name has a "Jesus cross" in it.
these days samuel has been a bit of a grizzly bear. he isn't quite fussy...he still rarely cries, but now if he is upset or hungry or just plain bored he sort of shouts. he can actually get quite loud and it starts to get annoying after awhile. when tristan was his age, i'm sure i was able to entertain him a lot more. with samuel, i do spend time playing with him, but there is always something else going on, something else that needs to be done and i just don't have as much time. he does love his little "jump & go" door jumpy and he tolerates the exersaucer for 10 minutes here and there. just yesterday i tried sitting him up on his own with the boppy pillow behind him and he did quite well before folding in half. i've noticed 2 little white teeth under the surface of his bottom gums, but there's no telling how close they are to breaking through. he still has a gigantic morning nap and then one or two wimpy little naps after that. i've tried waking him early from his morning nap so that he'll be tired enough to take a longer afternoon nap, but it doesn't make a difference, so i just let him be.
these days i've been enjoying the very chilly nights and growing impatient with the very warm/hot days. i used to enjoy taking a walk after dinner with the boys in the cool evening, but now with the time change, its too dark after dinner to do that. still, i'm going to attempt a walk to the library this afternoon with the kids and i'm hoping that i don't sweat too much. i've realized that however slowly i lost weight after having tristan, i'm losing it even more slowly after having samuel. i was so proud of myself for not gaining as much weigh in my second pregnancy despite being nearly bed-ridden with a broken leg. but that pride has led to disappointment as clothes that fit me when tristan was 5 months old are not fitting me now that samuel is the same age. the more slowly i lose weight, the more of a need there is for new clothing which isn't quite at the top of our list of priorities right now. to be completely honest, i feel just so disgusting right now wearing the same maternity tops and pants that i've worn for the past 10 months. because of my weight, i take no pride in my appearance and rarely wear makeup or do my hair. its depressing. i know that my self esteem shouldn't come from the way i look on the outside, but sometimes when i catch sight of my reflection in a mirror, or see myself in photos, i feel deflated and sad. i'm not writing this in hopes of ego-boosting comments; i just feel the need to be real and open about the way i feel right now. i know i went through this sort of phase after having tristan and it eventually passed, so i'm sure that it will pass again. in the meantime, i'm going to continue to take the kids on walks because exercise is not only good for my body; i know it is good for my mind as well.
these days i'm very much looking forward to the christmas season that is just around the corner. tristan is turning 3 the week after christmas and i think this year he is finally at the age where he'll be able to anticipate and understand what we're celebrating. we wave hello to all of the christmas trees at the christmas tree farm we drive past when we visit gran & grandpa's house. the last few times we went to costco, we made sure to gaze upon baby Jesus, happy upon his bed of hay in the nativity set they're selling. we've discussed santa claus somewhat and how all of the reindeer fit into the picture, (its so fun when kids believe anything!) but my plan this year is to keep his focus on the true meaning of christmas as much as possible. materialism and greed will find their way into his life more and more in the future, so i'd like to use his semi-innocence to keep all of that at bay for as long as we can.
these days i'm finding that i need to take josh up on his offer to stay home with the boys while i go out with some friends or something. the thing is, introvert that i am, i know that i'd find myself much more relaxed and refreshed if i just go somewhere all by myself. i'm the type of girl who's idea of a good time is sitting with a book in a coffee shop, sipping a hot chocolate while reading. of course i do enjoy the time i spend with friends, but tonight its just going to be me, myself and i. i've no idea yet where i'll take myself, but i'm already looking forward to it :)