Friday, May 27, 2011

i miss blogging

i really do. i miss typing my thoughts out and recording what my kids are doing and saying and reading every one's comments. i feel like this year i've been in such a big blogging rut and i can't quite figure out why. perhaps part of it has to do with the fact that i've chosen not to post photos of my boys' faces, so that limits the amount of "easy picture posts" that i can do. (unless i get creative, like in my last post). i feel as if picture less posts are boring posts, but honestly who wants to look at pictures of my flowers every time i write?

the other reason i think i don't blog more is because i often have random thoughts and ideas to write dancing around in my head that are more suited to a facebook status update than an entire blog post. just small little things that i feel aren't worthwhile to share on their own, so then they just don't get shared at all. and i feel that's a shame mostly for my sake because i rely on my blog so much to look back on in the future and remember what life what like at different stages of my kids' growing up years. so.... i will write a random post today and i'm telling myself that even if my blog becomes only a collection of random posts from here on out, i will still continue to blog. and i'm hoping that writing it out will help me to keep to it!

*josh and i celebrated our 7th anniversary last saturday and had a fabulous time eating dinner at pf changs and then taking dessert home from the cheesecake factory. we did a little bit of shopping, watched a dvd and had a child-free night thanks to his parent's keeping the boys overnight. what i loved the most about our time together was that josh pretty much planned all of it....including 1 hour massages that we get to have tomorrow! yeah, my man rocks.

*next weekend is samuel's 2nd birthday. all 4 of the men in the family will celebrate their birthdays in a joint party on saturday, but i'm going to make cupcakes especially for samuel so that he can blow his own candles out and go to town on his own little cake.

*the following day (sunday), josh and i are attending a wedding of friends of ours. well, josh is doing more than just attending it, he will actually be officiating the ceremony! this will be his first time officiating and he's more than a little nervous, but i'm so proud of him and excited to watch him up there. the boys will again be spending the night at my in-law's which i'm also excited about. we're sure taking advantage of their free babysitting service before the new baby arrives :)

*i have now entered the 3rd trimester of my pregnancy and both my appetite and my weight have been skyrocketing. this seems to be the case with every one of my pregnancies and my mind is just telling me to throw up my hands in surrender and say, "i don't care anymore!" but the truth is that i do. i know very well just how difficult it is for me to lose pounds accumulated during pregnancy. there are many days that i eat way too much of the wrong things, but i don't let myself become a runaway train; instead i do my best to wake up the next morning, knowing that its a brand new day and start fresh with eating clean and healthy. i am also going to start doing hill walking once a week with a good friend of mine, mostly to make sure that i'm not completely out of shape when its time once more to push a baby out.

*this is the first time that i will have a midwife deliver my baby and i'm really happy about that. i've been reading a lot of books written by midwives lately (the baby catcher being my all time favorite) and i feel like i have more knowledge about birth than ever before. i'm not going to declare that i plan on giving birth without an epidural this time, but i do know that i have a say in nearly everything that goes on in the delivery room and that i'm going to use my voice a lot more this time around. i've been watching the show "baby's first day" a lot as well and its really becoming obvious to me that there truly is such a strong link between pitocin lowering a baby's heart rate, causing the need for emergency c-sections. sam's heart rate dipped very low after i was given pitocin (at 8cm dilated! sheesh!!) and knowing what i know now, it makes more sense to me. it seems that so many doctors are in such a hurry for you to have the baby and move on out of there, so i am hopeful that my experience with a midwife will be much more respectful, patient and calmer.

*tristan. wow, he is growing up way too fast. he looks much older than he really is, due to his missing front tooth and his large size, but i love the fact that he still wants to cuddle with me and isn't too grown up for public hugs and kisses. he is extremely bossy, especially with his brother, but also has quite a shy streak that comes out mainly when meeting new people or in new situations. he is so excited about a new baby sister, still insists on calling her "baby bodie" and often talks about how he will help out when she is here. despite growing up, he still comes out with the funniest things at times. he pronounces beer "beard" and the other day he was talking about getting really big and being a daddy. he said, "when i'm a daddy and even bigger than my daddy, i'm going to drink beard." and you know, there's a good chance that he will become bigger than his own daddy (who is 6' 2'') because when we measured him at 2 1/2 and doubled it, the prediction was that he'd be around 6' 5'' as an adult!

*samuel. ever the little monkey. at times endearing, then at times very frustrating. he doesn't technically talk, but the words he does say only we can understand. he now says "no" (which sounds like "oh") and oh my goodness, is he quite the defiant little boy! he has a certain tone of voice that he uses which shows that he already has a bit of an attitude, so we are in the process of nipping that in the bud, though its difficult when most forms of discipline seem to just roll off of his back. he loves big trucks and cars and motorcycles. he also likes horses and baby girls (hoping that will stick around a bit longer) and water and dirt and rocks. he is seriously just all boy, so rough and tumble and tough (for the most part). he's also quite small and has what i think is a very tiny head, so i'm having a difficult time letting josh buzz his hair this summer since i think he will look very very funny. and not in a good way. he is also a cuddler, loves to give kisses and is always the first one to comfort his brother or whoever else may be crying.

*braxton hicks contractions are already coming and going daily, reminding me that these last 2 months will probably fly by quicker than ever. i still don't feel like i'm ready yet, but i know by the end i definitely will. josh is hoping to set up ava's crib this weekend, which i think will make her room look so much more put together. the changing table and rocking chair are already in there along with some hand-me-downs hanging in her closet. i love the fact that this time around i am able to nest; during the last few months of samuel's pregnancy i wasn't able to get anything ready in his room and we didn't even set his crib up until after he was born! the feeling of preparing and readying a place for our baby girl is incredible; it fills me with peace and thankfulness. we are so, very blessed.


Rachel said...

Oh Heidi! Share even the small things lest they be forgotten. I cannot believe you guys are going to buzz little Samuel..... and not because of his head (which is totally normal size) but because of all those gorgeous curls!!!! Matthew didn't get any. :(


Julie said...

I love reading your posts. Im glad that your going to write even if it doesnt seem "exciting" it is exciting for me to read :o) I for one cant TOTALLY sympathise with you with the bad eating/weight gain, hard to lose after baby comes weight. I still have 15 pounds to lose and my baby is now 5 months old. Sad. After our anniversary weekend away I hope to lower those numbers (and actually put effort into it). To bad we didnt live close, I would love to hill walk with you.
You will for sure have to post about your midwife experiance. With all four of my babies their heart rate dropped so much that I heard whispered comments about C-sections. I do have high blood pressure during pregnancy which skyrockets during labor so maybe thats why they do the petocin? I dont know. But do write later how your experiance was different/better with a midwife.
I love hearing about your boys. It would be so neat to meet your little family someday.

kelly ens said...

i love this update!!! And any small ones you may post too :)
i had a midwife with E too and LOVED it. i managed to prepare myself much better and managed to give birth naturally. every birth is different, obviously, but it's so good to set goals like that :)
Happy belated anniversary!

Neha said...

So good to hear from you! And it's so much fun getting to know your children better. Though I haven't seen the pics, but I can tell that you have beautiful children!

Take good care of yourself!

Melanie said...

Keep posting. Even if it's 'nothing'! These days fly by, and it's nice to have a record of even the mundane. Plus stay at home mom's like me love reading about someone else's day - it makes me feel normal and less isolated until I can leave the house when baby gets bigger. :)

I hope your delivery with a midwife goes as well as mine did! I can't imagine delivering any other way. It was so wonderful this time that we are even considering a home birth if/when the next child comes. My delivery did not go as well as the midwives hoped (they were expecting to have to resuscitate him) but they NEVER let on. That was one of the best parts for me - they never made me think I couldn't do this, even when it was dicey.

I say try to go for it without the epidural. We decided early on after reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" that if I thought I could do this drug free, I probably could. (And that if I didn't think I could, that I would end up in trouble.) Our bodies are amazing. A-MAZ-ing. Designed by God for just a time as this. I'm a first for my midwife, but ever since my labour and delivery I've told her I'm ready to do that part again...just not the pregnancy and first six weeks!! I'm only a month out of the six weeks of yuck and I can't say I am looking forward to that again.

All the best as you look forward to your little one. I look forward to hearing of her safe arrival

(I found you through one of the MGCC ladies. I grew up with her daughter when I was very young and then we were pen pals for years.)

Anneliese said...

How can you say you have nothing blog worthy and then turn out ten posts in one.. all interesting to read!
Again.. so happy for you every time I hear you talk about a little girl...

rachel joy said...

I second what Anneliese said! :) And I totally understand the blogging rut thing. For me it came after I had my third baby, but here's hoping you'll be able to push through and keep us up to date on your growing family. I'm always thrilled when I hear a Mama has chosen a midwife. I had one with my first and am soooo glad that I did. For my second, we were 8 hours away from the closest midwife but had an amazing Christian lady dr. who was just like a midwife. Then it was back to a midwife for #3 and it just felt so right. Praying for a very uneventful and peaceful final few months for you as you wait to meet your little girl! And you can TOTALLY do it naturally. An epidural can cause even more complications and interventions than Pitocin. I'm sure you've read up on that, but know that you're a tough and determined lady and YOU CAN do it!