i've been neglecting my blog for some time now, as evidenced by my infrequent posts and the fact that i can't even be bothered to correct the spelling of my youngest son's name on his age ticker on my sidebar, or change the "i am currently reading" title to the actual book i am currently reading. well, attempting to currently read would be more accurate. i've also had this draft getting stale on the back burner for days now and i think its time to finally get around to posting it. so here it is:
i clicked onto my blog this morning to check out a few updated blog posts from my list before the baby started crying and sort of froze when i noticed something: i have lost a follower. i know that i've had 56 followers for awhile and today i have 55. the funny thing is, this actually made me sad for a moment, wondering what in the world i have done to make someone not want to follow my blog anymore? and then i snapped out of it, realizing that its not surprising since i rarely update anymore due to lack of spare time and when i do update, my posts have been less than exciting. but that one lost follower at least inspired me to post an update, which i shall now do.
in some rare free moments i have been updating the kids' picture blog (link on the sidebar) not because a bunch of people look at it (actually, i believe the only 2 people who ever visit it are my sister and my mom) but because its sort of become my own virtual scrapbook to capture every month in my childrens' lives lest i forget all about this crazy world of mine right now like i've been forgetting so many other things. like doctors appointments and green cards and pin numbers, just to name a few. yes, i was at the grocery store this afternoon and i'm trying to pay for my groceries, but i just couldn't remember my pin number!! after years of having the same number, my mind went completely blank. it was ridiculous, but not surprising since i figure that my brain has been misplaced for the past 8 weeks or so.
yes, ava is 8 weeks old now. she weighed 14 lbs at 7 weeks and i believe she is off the charts. its funny, but i never had any issue in calling tristan chubby or even fat, but with ava, i feel like i have to cover her ears! which makes me sad, knowing that its just our culture right now that causes me to think twice before calling her chunky in the most loving way. anyhow, she slept through the night for the first time last night (7pm-6am!!) and i'm writing it out because i'm definitely not expecting her to repeat that amazing feat tonight. not expecting, but hoping, perhaps! she is a talker, loves to babble away, but she has to have your undivided attention in order to do so. she is also very attached to her mama and there have been days where i have literally worn her the entire day because she'd just cry and cry when i'd try to put her in her crib. there are also days, like today, where she will nap in her crib, and i've learned not to take those days for granted. i've also learned not to run around doing household chores the entire time she's napping, but to also make sure and at least try to relax a little bit here and there, which is easier said than done. but when i am firm with myself about this, i find that my mind isn't falling to pieces quite so much at the end of the day.
ahhh, the end of the day. when all 3 kids are snugly tucked into bed asleep, and its just me and my hubby, i feel like i can breathe again. sometimes this just doesn't happen if ava is having one of her endless evenings of fussiness, which i try to solve by walking her around outside. the other night i walked her for 2 1/2 hours and by the end of it, i think we were both crying. then there are evenings when she'll nod off within 10 minutes, and those are the evenings where i find i'll start to feel a bit like the old me again. the me that isn't utterly exhausted and counting down the days till saturday. its been 8 weeks and i *think* i may just be starting to get the hang of this.