Wednesday, September 28, 2011

un-neglecting my blog

i've been neglecting my blog for some time now, as evidenced by my infrequent posts and the fact that i can't even be bothered to correct the spelling of my youngest son's name on his age ticker on my sidebar, or change the "i am currently reading" title to the actual book i am currently reading. well, attempting to currently read would be more accurate. i've also had this draft getting stale on the back burner for days now and i think its time to finally get around to posting it. so here it is:

i clicked onto my blog this morning to check out a few updated blog posts from my list before the baby started crying and sort of froze when i noticed something: i have lost a follower. i know that i've had 56 followers for awhile and today i have 55. the funny thing is, this actually made me sad for a moment, wondering what in the world i have done to make someone not want to follow my blog anymore? and then i snapped out of it, realizing that its not surprising since i rarely update anymore due to lack of spare time and when i do update, my posts have been less than exciting. but that one lost follower at least inspired me to post an update, which i shall now do.

in some rare free moments i have been updating the kids' picture blog (link on the sidebar) not because a bunch of people look at it (actually, i believe the only 2 people who ever visit it are my sister and my mom) but because its sort of become my own virtual scrapbook to capture every month in my childrens' lives lest i forget all about this crazy world of mine right now like i've been forgetting so many other things. like doctors appointments and green cards and pin numbers, just to name a few. yes, i was at the grocery store this afternoon and i'm trying to pay for my groceries, but i just couldn't remember my pin number!! after years of having the same number, my mind went completely blank. it was ridiculous, but not surprising since i figure that my brain has been misplaced for the past 8 weeks or so.

yes, ava is 8 weeks old now. she weighed 14 lbs at 7 weeks and i believe she is off the charts. its funny, but i never had any issue in calling tristan chubby or even fat, but with ava, i feel like i have to cover her ears! which makes me sad, knowing that its just our culture right now that causes me to think twice before calling her chunky in the most loving way. anyhow, she slept through the night for the first time last night (7pm-6am!!) and i'm writing it out because i'm definitely not expecting her to repeat that amazing feat tonight. not expecting, but hoping, perhaps! she is a talker, loves to babble away, but she has to have your undivided attention in order to do so. she is also very attached to her mama and there have been days where i have literally worn her the entire day because she'd just cry and cry when i'd try to put her in her crib. there are also days, like today, where she will nap in her crib, and i've learned not to take those days for granted. i've also learned not to run around doing household chores the entire time she's napping, but to also make sure and at least try to relax a little bit here and there, which is easier said than done. but when i am firm with myself about this, i find that my mind isn't falling to pieces quite so much at the end of the day.

ahhh, the end of the day. when all 3 kids are snugly tucked into bed asleep, and its just me and my hubby, i feel like i can breathe again. sometimes this just doesn't happen if ava is having one of her endless evenings of fussiness, which i try to solve by walking her around outside. the other night i walked her for 2 1/2 hours and by the end of it, i think we were both crying. then there are evenings when she'll nod off within 10 minutes, and those are the evenings where i find i'll start to feel a bit like the old me again. the me that isn't utterly exhausted and counting down the days till saturday. its been 8 weeks and i *think* i may just be starting to get the hang of this.


Grandma J. said...

You know Heidi, for some reason as I crawl into my cozy bed at the end of the day, I think, oh, this is my favorite time of day. Even without the possible interuption of children, I just love that reading time before sleep - or lack of, for me, in spite of the aforesaid no children or babies in the house.
Walking is good for you, but I pray you are savoring your time with this little one as she grows. Blessings. XO

kelly ens said...

thanks for this update! i can imagine these early stages of parenting three young ones is very challenging. i am glad you are being firm with yourself about sitting down once in a while :)

Sarah D said...

Isn't that evening alone time the best?! I tend to stay up too late to savour it & end up paying for it in the morning!

The other day I was at the grocery checkout & went to pay only to realize I forgot my wallet at home!! Never done that before & surely won't again...what a pain!

Hope Ava continues to sleep through the night, you deserve it!


Neha said...

Came to Blogger after a long time and found out that your little angel is already 2 mnths old! The last I read was when we were all praying and hoping she arrives well and safely.
How time flies!

Good to read this update and happy to see and hear about the new entry. God bless all of you!

Julie said...

Sometimes after getting all the kids down at night I just *sigh* and then maybe *sigh* again :o) I snuggle up to my hubby and its almost like my body ached all day long to relax and feel his arms around me :o)
No matter how much you neglect your blog I will never ever unfollow you. Just thought I'd let ya know that ;o)

Laura Railing said...

Heidi, I too just lost a follower :-( It makes me wonder why but at the same time I don't post a lot either :-S But then I think I have so many other people who love me regardless of what blog contest I post- why am I so worried about numbers?? No matter what though I love your blog!! Promise I won't unfollow it :-)

These are the moments of life...! The ones you want to remember forever as frustrating or wonderful as they may be!!