day 13

~purple birthday pansies warm my heart~

on day 13 of facebooklessness, i'm finding it easier than ever to not be in the loop about every little detail of my friends' lives. you know, its really sort of nice to be out of the loop a little bit and find things out the old fashioned way. hearing about news through word of mouth just feels better somehow. i don't know how else to explain it. my FB cravings have died down to a mere murmur, but my tetris cravings have reached an all time high. i have 3 more books waiting for me at the library, so perhaps they'll take over that part of my day where i just need to relax and zone out a little. even writing about tetris makes my fingers twitch to play, isn't that just insane? i'm a little bit embarrassed now.

so, tristan is now 5 and oh my goodness, are things changing with him! i almost can't stand it, how knowledgeable and big and grown up he is getting. his grammar is getting sorted out, much to my dismay and i was near tears this morning when he pronounced his favorite toy the correct way instead of calling it a "comote retrol car." i keep repeating "how did this happen?" over and over in my head when i notice that his head comes up to my chest and that he has a disturbing lack of baby fat on him. his shirts read size 7 and i just want to close my eyes, put my hands over my ears and say "lalalalala" and not believe any of it. my sweet baby boy is growing up. but my consolation is that he is growing up into a sweet young boy (well, sweet for the most part). his intuitiveness and genuine concern for others is something i pray will stay with him for the rest of his life. he loves to talk about spiritual things and is constantly asking me questions about God and heaven and what it means to believe. and he loves to pray, out loud, even in large groups of people despite his lingering shyness. he and i are both looking forward to beginning kindergarten together as i homeschool him this fall. even though i feel so completely inadequate to teach him all he should know, i think that he'll be a star pupil and will be pretty easy to teach. (plus, i figure you can't really mess up kindergarten that much, right?)

~enjoying a picnic of zucchini bread and juice together outside~

sam is 2 1/2. oh, sam. he is nearly the opposite of his brother in every way: small for his age, high energy, loud, mischievous, tough, messy, and immune to consequences. he is still not talking all that well and i've been told not to worry until he turns 3, so i'm trying not to. though he puts words together, he only says the last part of each word, so "ilk ease ommmy" means "milk, please mommy." this makes it nearly impossible for most people to understand him. but he is such a crack up! he can go wall-eyed on command and will do it just to make us laugh. he'll be all, "ama! ama!" and i'll look at him and his one eye will be looking straight at me, and the other one will be drifting off to the side and he's just waiting for me to laugh. he wears the same size diaper as his sister (can you believe that?!?) but we're hoping to completely finish potty training him this month. he is all about cowboys. and his gun. josh's sister bought my boys toy guns for christmas (all i'm going to say about this is that i've discovered that if a boy doesn't have a toy gun, he'll still find things to turn into guns) and i had no idea that they would play with those guns every single day. sam usually has his sticking out of his pocket like a holster, with his cowboy bandanna around his neck, boots on and an old hat that josh wore as a kid. he also has a hobby horse that he sometimes rides around the house. when he and tristan watch davy crockett together, they both have their guns ready to help davy shoot the bad guys.

ava is 6 1/2 months old and she is such a joy. the other evening i was watching josh tickle her tummy before her bath and the giggles and snorts that were erupting from her made both of us laugh along. i just stood there and shook my head, thinking that only a few months ago she would have been screaming inconsolably at this time of day. those long, difficult months are still so fresh in my mind, which is a good thing because it helps me to truly enjoy these happier, easier days. her favorite thing in the world (besides her mommy) is to jump. and if she is not in her jumpy, then her little legs are trying to jump whether she's sitting or laying down, or being held. i've never had a baby this bouncy before! she is still huge, wearing mostly 12 month clothing. in her exersaucer, her favorite thing is to carefully turn the 3 pages of a little plastic book over and over and over again. i love it that she's already a book lover like her mama! i read to her in the rocking chair in her room when i have time and she sits there so quietly on my lap and just stares at the pictures and tries to help me lift the flaps. bookstores are going to become even more dangerous for me in the future now that i have a fellow bookworm to buy for! she still dislikes being in her car seat, so last night for the first time i had her sitting up in the front of the grocery cart with a blanket wrapped around her to keep her from wobbling over. sam was sitting next to her and she LOVED it! i have never had a more pleasant grocery shopping experience. she was squealing with delight and giving gummy smiles to anyone we passed by. after i had gotten everything on my list, i was almost tempted to do one more lap around the store just because she was so enchanted by the experience. sam was so proud of his little sister, holding her hand the whole time. this little girl has no idea what she is in for, with 2 older brothers to love and torment her.

i started ava on solids a couple of weeks ago and even though i started with the purees instead of the straight cereals, and even though i've been giving her a bit of prune juice with every meal, she is still utterly stopped up. its been 9 days since her last poop and i'm thinking i may have to resort to the sorts of things i've never had to resort to before. she is quite uncomfortable and it just breaks my heart watching her strain so hard that her face turns red and she starts to tremble. i'm giving it until tomorrow before i call her doctor one last time for any more advice before taking what i consider drastic measures. so, if you don't mind, could you pray for poop? thanks!