it seems that my frustration with my post-baby body follows some sort of inner clock. for the first nine months of each of my childrens' lives, i just tended to avoid mirrors while pulling on the same over worn pair of maternity pants each morning. once the clock struck nine months, however, an alarm seemed to go off in my brain, screaming "WHY ARE YOU STILL SO FAT?!?!" and i'd begin the repetitive cycle of trying to exercise more, eat less, and obsessively weigh myself far too frequently, only to get pregnant again just before hitting my pre-baby weight.
** this time, it's going to be different. **
for starters, i'm not going to get pregnant again. 4 kids just ain't gonna happen, no matter how much my mom tries to convince me of the benefit of even numbers. i am also beginning this weight loss journey with a different mindset: the changes i make have GOT to be sustainable ones. i refuse to commit to anything that i can't continue, not only because i want this to be a lifestyle instead of a diet, but also because i tend to become way too discouraged over my defeats and feel like quitting when i can't stick to something.
so, 5 weeks ago i joined a private facebook group of like-minded women, signed onto myfitnesspal.com, posted horrendously embarrassing "before" pictures, and stepped onto the scale with my eyes shut tight, not wanting to witness how high the numbers climbed. i lost 5 lbs nearly immediately and was elated, thinking this wouldn't be quite so difficult after all. and then i stopped losing weight. i wanted to throw in the towel. why bother with all of this hard work if the result isn't a skinny me?
and then a friend lent me a copy of the documentary "hungry for change." i watched it twice. things started to click in my head, things i knew before, but hadn't really accepted.
i realized that i needed to make a lifestyle change NOT to become skinny, but to become healthy.
i borrowed my father in law's juicer and began experimenting with green juice. i was terrified to try the first concoction i made (a mixture of celery, lemon and pear), but as soon as i took the first sip, i was hooked! the juice literally tasted alive and the energy that followed was even better than my usual coffee induced pick me up. josh couldn't believe how great it tasted either, and now we both start our day with a tall glass of green juice. (i'm going through kale faster than i can buy it!)
i've also decided to stop using things on my skin that are chemical laden. after all, why put something on your body, if you wouldn't put it in your body, right? besides switching to sulfate free shampoo & conditioner, and using mineral salt deodorant, the main difference in my skincare is that now i use coconut oil for pretty much everything. i LOVE that stuff! i use it for cooking too, but i think i use more of it on my skin. for someone with dry/sensitive skin, coconut oil has been a godsend. i was pretty freaked out using it as a moisturizer for the first time, thinking i'd be sure to have an explosion of acne, but its actually done the opposite for me. i even use it in my hair (just a teensy bit) and want to try drenching my head in it, sticking a shower cap on, and washing it out the next morning for what is claimed to be the most amazing deep conditioning treatment ever.
so, i still haven't lost any more weight since those initial 5 pounds, and yet there are so many other positive changes that i see, that it (almost) doesn't really bother me. my mood has improved, as has my energy level. my eczema is fading and my skin looks and feels so much more hydrated & nourished. my allergies are clearing up. my pimples are all but gone, and i never get backed up anymore. (you so wanted to know that about me, right?) buying organic can get quite pricey, so for now i'm sticking to buying only the things on the dirty dozen list organically. i definitely indulge once in awhile and no longer feel guilty about it because i know that the good choices i am making for my health far outweigh the bad choices.
i've still got a long road ahead (25lbs long, to be exact) but i know without a doubt that this time i am on the right path.