he is six

and i'm still slightly in shock.

as he said 2 years ago after finding "cake crumbs" in between his toes, "how did this happen?"

today he is wearing a spiderman suit while building a lego police helicoptor for the fifth time. he loves legos. he also loves shrimp, star wars, green olives, his uncle james, nerf guns, abraham lincoln, his bike, oranges, monstor trucks, johnny appleseed, wrestling with daddy, reading books, winter, pizza, his new lego star wars watch, playing battleship, flying kites, his cousin johnny, and cake pops with chocolate milk at starbucks.

i miss his babyness. i miss the little roll of kissable chub that used to encircle his neck. i miss the little dimples that are no longer evident on each knuckle of his hands. i miss how he used to call helicoptors, "heppercoppers" and hamburgers, "hamuburgers". i miss how he used to tell me about his dreams in the morning and would always start with, "once upon a time." i miss his words before he learned how to say his "L's". i miss how he used to fit perfectly on my chest as we'd lay on the couch together watching his beloved praise baby videos.

yet i love who he is now and who he is becoming. i love how generous he is, always wanting to buy things for his siblings with his own money. i love how he loves to learn, often picking a random topic that he wants to know about, and discovering more about it with me for school. i love how he remembers so much (really, i wish i could borrow some of his memory since mine is fading fast) and often relates to me stories of things that happened years ago. i love how he is such a planner, wanting to know what our plans are for the next week and putting all of the events on his little calendar. he even told me the other day that he is going to start saving his christmas and birthday money in the bank so that he can buy a really nice ring for his future wife. he's got plans, that boy!

tristan, my one and only firstborn son....mommy loves you more than you'll ever know. well, wait until you have your first son and then maybe you'll know how much i love you. happy birthday, sweetheart.