Wednesday, July 10, 2013


on july 1st, my oldest baby turned 6 1/2. my heart broke just a tiny bit that morning when i realized it. he is far too old for his own age and i tell him all the time that this growing up business has got to stop. he just looks at me with a little twinkle in his eye and laughs.

teaching him this past school year has been such a joy and we are both anticipating the beginning of first grade in a few months time. he retains so much knowledge and so often i find that he is the one teaching me! after visiting the rodeo for the first time with his gran a little while ago, he decided that he wanted to add "cowboy" to the long list of things he wants to be when he grows up. my friend cindy has a sweet old mare that is just perfect for children to ride, and so he and his siblings have been thrilled at the opportunity to ride her. tristan especially though; he pretty much glows whenever he talks about her.

sometimes i'll catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye and will startle at how grown up he looks. he has one permanent top front tooth and the baby one next to it is holding on for dear life. i quietly pray that it will keep holding on a little while longer, that precious little tooth that i rejoiced at when it finally emerged all those years ago. i don't know if i'll be able to throw it away when it finally decides its had enough wiggling and pulling.

because tristan is the oldest, he has had more than his fair share of responsibility thrust upon him, yet he is so good at it! sure, he torments his siblings from time to time (okay, well daily, if i'm going to be completely honest) but they torment him right back and he still loves them dearly and loves helping them out.

ava has a special place in his heart and has since before she was even born. he would do anything to protect her and i detect a certain pride in him now and then when we are out in public and she gets fawned over by strangers, as if he so badly wants to say, "yep, that's my little sister! the cutest girl in the world!" he'll dance with her, sing to her, put a full on puppet show for her, read to her, sit down and have a tea party with her, help her get up or down or unstuck or whatever her little heart desires. he is so good to her.

he is still a shy boy at heart, but his courage helps him push past that so that his shyness tends not to affect his life in a negative way, for which i am thankful. he is so naturally athletic and competitive (thanks to his daddy's genes and absolutely no thanks to mine!) that he will make a game or competition out of everything which can fall rather flat when his completely nonathletic and noncompetitive brother (all thanks to my genes, ha!) couldn't care less.

he is a planner, a romantic, a dreamer, and loves to give. he has such a love for God that it brings tears to my  eyes whenever he talks about Him. today he heard lyrics to a praise song and felt so inspired by it, that he decided to build God out of legos. true story. being a missionary and a pastor are both on his life's to-do list right above being a cowboy, a policeman, and making star wars movies.

i am so in love with the fact that he isn't too old to cuddle with his mommy, or kiss me goodnight. he tells me he loves me so many times throughout the day, just because. he will always be so special to me, my first born, the one i made most of my mistakes on, yet look! he's turned out okay so far! he lights up my life every single day.

man, i love that kid.


Grandma J. said...

I think, Heidi, that this young man will "almost always" be happy to cuddle with you, even as he gets to the teen years. He is such a tender hearted boy. You captured just a small part of how wonderful he really is in these written words. Hey, see you Tonight!!!

flyn2lax said...

Love you, love,love, love, your writing ability, and OF COURSE, love Tristan oodles ! Tears tho, running down my cheeks missing you all and missing them growing up day to day! Heidi, you should be so proud of what a fine job that you have done! Thanks for sharing all the thoughts, actions and dreams that Tristan shares with you! It makes me feel closer.....

Julie said...

What a sweet boy <3 I MUST meet him someday!

christine said...

yup thats one special young guy... love your writing heidi! Great subject too! have fun in Canada! (hi Judy!)

Anneliese said...

Love how you write!