our first dead pet

i have some tragic news. on friday, may 13th at some point in the morning, there was a death in the stewart household. Mr. Algae Eater passed away. Mr. Algae Eater was my favorite fish. he was completely white and looked sort of like a tiny catfish with whiskers, and all he did all day long was eat everything he could find at the bottom of the fish tank. if i had known him long enough to give him a proper name, i believe i would have named him Snuffalufagous because if he could have talked, that's the kind of word that would have come out of his mouth, i am sure. on friday afternoon, i noticed that Mr. Algae Eater was no longer eating. he seemed to be taking a break, but it looked as if he was napping on his side. it seemed a little odd to me, but i wasn't too alarmed because everybody knows that when fish die, they float to the top of the fish tank. then i looked even closer and saw that his gills weren't moving. that was when i called out for josh to "come quick!" and he did and confirmed that Mr. Algae Eater was, in fact completely dead.

after his death had been confirmed, josh and i had a lengthy "discussion" about who should remove the late Mr. A.E. from the fish tank. josh insisted that, since i had been the one to discover him, i should have to remove him. i insisted that, since i am a girl, and extremely squidgy about gross things, that josh should step up as the Man of the House and remove him. neither of us agreed with the other, and so the "discussion" ensued until i called josh a not very nice name and we stopped talking for awhile until i apologized and then we decided to drop the topic of Mr. Algae Eater's removal.

the next day, during breakfast i noticed that Mr. A.E.'s body was drifting around the fish tank and that one of the other fish was attacking it. this disturbed me, and again, i asked josh to kindly remove his remains. but josh is stubborn and so am i (i never used to be, until i got married) and so Mr. Algae Eater remained in the fish tank for yet another day past his expiration. i did, at one point, get the soup ladle out, but realized that the handle wasn't long enough to reach his body, which would force me to put my hand in the water, which i wasn't willing to do at that point.

last night i had the most horrid dream. i dreamt that i was forced to leave josh and go to college, and while there, i noticed that the drinking water had a lot of floaties in it. i examined the floaties in my glass a little closer and realized that they were actually little, mini goldfish, swimming around, and we HAD to drink them. so i did and i could feel them wiggling around on my tongue and down my throat. it was DISGUSTING! this morning during breakfast, i noticed that Mr. A.E.'s body was no where to be found. i assumed that the other fish had all taken a bite of him, but josh told me that that was not what happened. later, while washing dishes, i found the soup ladle in the sink.

what a wonderful man i have.