2 month checkup

things started out okay. tristan had been sleeping, so i had to wake him up to undress him, but he was good with the nurse and gave big smiles and tried to grab the measuring tape that she was using. he now weighs 12 lbs 8 oz, which is nearly 4 lbs bigger than last month!! i was happy, but not surprised, as he wants to eat nearly every hour..and not just snacking, either. he's right around the 50th percentile in height and 75th in weight. then we had to wait for the doctor, and tristan, being used to eating right after he wakes up, started giving me his hungry cry. i tried EVERYTHING to keep him quiet, but by the time the doctor came in the room, we literally had to yell to hear each other over tristan's wails. finally the doctor suggested i feed him. it's funny how eventually when you've been breastfeeding for awhile, your modesty slowly begins to crumble. so tristan ate and the doctor and i talked about his immunizations, then he left the room and the nurse came in to administer the shots while i held him. it broke my heart to see him so surprised at the pain, looking up at me as if to say, "mommy why are you letting her do this to me?" he got 3 shots and goes back for 3 more in 2 months. the nurse recommended me feeding him again to calm him down, so i did. as soon as he was done feeding, he spit up what looked like the entire contents of his tummy ALL over my shirt, my lap, and his outfit. then he started crying again. so i made his next appointment dripping wet with a screaming child. thankfully he wore himself out about 5 mintues down the road and fell asleep. poor little guy.

my mom told me that when she took us in as babies to get immunized, she always got the giggles when we started crying. something about how we were happy and cooing one minute, and then the next we were screaming...i was worried that i'd start laughing, but i didn't. no, my mother was not at all cruel. she just has an interesting sense of humor :)

a tribute to an old friend

a few weeks ago i was privileged to attend the annual Scottish Tea that my mom in law and her sisters put on. it's really quite fancy and fun. once a girl from the younger generation has become engaged or married, she is invited to attend. joshs' grandma was actually born in scotland, and her girls have kept her memory alive in making the scottish tea so special. 3 aunties and 4 cousins were there enjoying such treats as empire biscuits, cucumber sandwiches (with the crusts cut off, of course), strawberries dipped in whipped cream, scones with clotted cream and jam or lyle syrup, and let's not forget the tea itself. we all recite the robert burns prayer before we eat (or if, like me we get the cannae's and hae's mixed up, we just fumble along) and then we feast and talk and laugh and cry have a lovely time.

because of my new-motherliness this year, i stayed for the tea, but skipped the shopping and movie and dinner and sleepover bit. however, my sweet mother in law sent me home with meat pies to make for dinner so that we could enjoy at home a bit of what they were enjoying over there.(didn't have any neeps or tatties or even peas, but the pies were delicious all the same) as i was popping those pies in the oven, the phone rang. "hi, heidi, this is julie" the slightly familiar voice said when i answered. it took me only a split second to realize that this was JULIE!!! my long lost friend from years and years ago.

i first met julie in grade one. she and her family had just moved to our town from alaska. i remember the teacher telling us that her parents were missionaries and they had decided to pastor a church nearby. julie had the loooongest brown hair i had ever seen and it ran down her back in an endless braid. i thought that she was quite exotic, being from a whole other country and all, with a bit of an american accent. when the teacher asked the class for a volunteer to show julie around the school, another girl raised her hand. those two became the best of friends and that was that. in grade four, my best friend had moved to another school and so had julie's. i can't recall exactly how we began, but from that year on, we were inseperable. julie really helped me blossom and open up, as i was so painfully shy and she was a bit more of a troublemaker. i had never been much of a tomboy, but julie brought out the adventurous side in me. it wasn't long before she had me swinging from a rope over the creek that ran by her house (i fell in once) and making a fort in an old junkyard. as soon as the first snow fell, one of us would be on the phone with the other, planning when we could go tobogganing down the hills near my house. on rainy days we'd stay indoors and sit on the bed and just read for hours. we were also in the process of writing and illustrating a book about rabbits that were best friends (i was the author and julie was the illustrator) i often went down "across the line" to washington with julie's family and we would go shopping at bellis fair mall, which to me was such a big deal. her family ate chilli and burritos a lot and pronounced mayonnaise like manaise and said "huh?" instead of "pardon?". they were just SOOOO american and i loved it. of course, julie taught me all the words to the star spangled banner.

i can't remember a single fight between us. we never had a crush on the same boy or gossiped behind the other's back. looking back at pictures i can see now that we both went through that pre-adolescent/geeky stage with the same awkwardness, which probably was a good thing since we never got "too cool" for each other. we both lamented the beginning of the necessity of bras and we consoled one another when we each started our period... neither of us were too fond of the idea of growing up. at the end of grade 7, julie's family up and moved to hawaii to take over a church in oahu. it was the most awful feeling to say goodbye. i wrote her a poem that i can still recite from memory today. we cried a lot and, though i visited her that summer, things were just never the same. already, i was becoming absorbed in "how to be cool" as i demonstrated to her how i had learned to french inhale while wearing the shortest cutoffs i owned. letters back and forth became few and far between. after highschool i received a wedding invitation from her, then a picture of a radiant looking bridal couple. a few years later an announcement of her son's birth, and last summer the news that she was pregnant again. this past year we kept in touch more frequently and i was elated to find out that her daughter kendra had been born early, but healthy in november.

that day on the phone we chatted for a long time, mostly about mom stuff, and as we talked all of those years of silence seemed to disappear and it just felt like we had never missed a beat. i think that's the test of true friendship, when you can pick up right where you left off.

thanks for the phone call, lulu. i'm so glad we never let each other completely disappear from one another's life.

what's new?

well...

* tristan has taken his first steps and is talking in full sentences already! okay, so maybe his first steps were taken as we dangled his feet above the ground and his full sentences are gobbledygook that only a parent can understand:)

* still not much sleep...he had a couple of good nights of 6 hours in a row!!! i was ecstatic. then, somehow, he began falling asleep much earlier in the evening (like at 6.30) and that just ruined everything, since he then felt like it was morning at 3.30am. i had a bit of a meltdown yesterday, but was able to calm down in the shower, inhaling lavender essential oil (thanks jennifer!) and exhaling prayers.

* i was finally able to use some of my birthday money to buy new clothes for myself that actually fit!!! realized that for now, i can no longer shop in the "young" department, as even xl won't stretch over my new pam andersons. i found some cute shirts in kohls today and tristan behaved so that i could spend a lot of time trying things on. after reading in one of my books that losing an average of 1 lb per week post partum is normal, i have felt a lot better about this whole situation. i'm trying to view my wider hips and jelly belly as badges of honor in a way. necessary changes so that i can love my little boy with all of my heart.

* tristan's latest thing is laughing. he has this cute little baby voice, so his laughs sound kind of like santa on helium: ho ho ho! one of his favorite things is to sit in his bouncy seat and talk to the lion that dangles in front of him. he's also beginning to streth his newborn clothing, so i'm going to have to open the next drawer and see what kinds of bigger clothes he has...what fun!!

* i am now officially a stay at home mom. i handed in my notice at work last week. it feels so good to be able to watch tristan full time and i appreciate all of the hard work that josh has done to support his family. we are so blessed.

it seems as if tristan and his lion friend are no longer getting along, so off i go...

well, i am still here...it's hard to believe that it's been over a week since i last blogged! i'm still getting small amounts of sleep at night, so when tristan naps, that's when i nap too! it feels like i wrote this already..am i repeating myself? also, he's been eating once every 2 hours pretty regularly which doesn't leave time for much else. i am still updating his picture blog, though and will get back on this blog as soon as he allows me a moment. hungry cry, gotta run.

thank you

i just wanted to quickly say thanks for all of the advice! i honestly knew that by asking for advice, i was opening the flood gates, but i was so ready for anything else to try. since that day (i guess that was one week ago) things have improved. i got the baby bjorn out of the closet (for some reason, i thought that he would only fit in it when he was older) and have worn him around the house...he is usually pretty content in there and *bonus* i can actually make myself lunch at the same time! i did find gripe water at the health food store, but they wanted $14 for a tiny little bottle, so i got the drops instead for $5 can't remember what they're called, starts with an "M" i'm glad i have them on hand, but i really don't think his problem is gas, since when i gave him some, the taste kind of startled him into silence, then he picked up where he had left off with his crying, and no burps came out. i think the most helpful advice was just telling me to relax. i can get kind of stressed out and sleep deprivation certainly doesn't help with that. i'm keeping the routine idea in the back of my head, but kind of doing what he wants right now. most of the time that means feeding him as soon as he wakes up and also before he'll fall asleep. at this point i don't mind feeding him to get him to sleep; at least he's quiet when he's eating!

the doctor's appointment went well. he now weighs 8lbs 12oz, which is over 2 lbs more than his weight 3 weeks prior (he was down to 6-10 before my milk came in) and so the doctor was very happy. when i described what had been happening with tristan, he said it just sounds like the fussy period that most babies have in the evenings and encouraged me to keep trying new things, like taking him for a walk in his stroller before bedtime. he has had a few very good days in a row, where he basically hasn't cried at all! i was able to enjoy the annual scottish tea at my mother in law's on saturday, josh and i went to a superbowl party on sunday, and he pretty much slept through everything. when he did wake up, he was content just to look around at everything.

oh yes, and he's just started to smile! it's still kind of shy and hesitant, but it melts my heart. he's very vocal as well, cooing and babbling, so we like to "talk" to each other. he tells the best stories.

i do wish that i was able to blog more, but i've been taking advantage of his nap times to take a nap myself...either that, or get some sort of work done in the house. i do have a couple of blogs that i'm wanting to post soon, not so baby related. will try to get to it. so again, thanks so much, you all have no idea how good it feels to have all of this support and to know that i'm not in this boat alone.