pre-menstrual ventage

thanks to all of you who left such great comments on my last post. definitely some good ideas in there that i know i'll be trying out. as of now, josh and i have determined that there are 3 main reasons why tristan screams. 1. out of frustration (if a toy he wants is stuck in a drawer) 2. out of excitement (pretty much any time he is allowed to run free outside) 3. out of anger (when we say no to something he really wants). we've decided to allow the excitement screams, for the most part and to quench the frustration screams by helping him achieve what he's trying to do. the anger screams are what we are currently working on. i think he's already gotten a bit better. either that, or i'm getting so used to the screaming that i don't even hear it anymore.

one of the things that i enjoyed the most about my pregnancy was that i never had pms! honestly, i wasn't one of those really emotional pregnant women; i actually felt the best i've ever felt, emotionally. it was fantastic. also, during the 12 months that i breastfed, i was lucky enough not to experience pms or anything else that goes along with that. of course, i had my fair share of hormonal/depressing emotions, but never that severe irritability that always seemed to be the telltale sign that i was about to get all snarky.

now that tristan is weaned, i've again joined the ranks of women who would prefer to live under a rock for one week every month rather than try to smile at the world as if nothing has changed. i HATE feeling this way! its as if every little insignificant thing that could possibly bother me is put under a magnifying glass just to make me lose my mind. i'm constantly blaming people and things in my head for the way i feel. its really awful. and, since i'm not in the mood to pretend that i'm happy and i don't feel like writing a mushy post, i'm going to make a list of the things that really irk me. i've noticed hundreds of these things in the past few days, but i'm going to refrain from listing all of them just in case i lose every one of my faithful readers in the process.

so, here they are, in no particular order: Things That Pi55 Heidi Off

1. icky men who stare. this morning, tristan and i walked to the store (well, i walked and tristan rode in his stroller) and, since i had no intention of bumping into anyone i know, i was makeupless and frumpy, wearing a baseball hat over my tangled hair. not only that, but i didn't feel like messing with my contacts, so i wore my very old and very broken glasses which are crooked on my face. any time i crossed the street, there seemed to be some older man sitting in a pickup truck STARING as i walked past. the same sort of man was leaning up against the side of the store as i entered, not bothering to keep his head from twisting to follow my progress as i walked by. SERIOUSLY, DUDES! get a life! or go home to your wife. if you think i look attractive enough to check out, you have issues.

2. a certain song the wiggles sing. i can remember back to a couple of years ago when my best bud darla drove down to visit with her hubby and son. her little guy was probably around 2 1/2 and the dvd that he was watching in their vehicle was a kid's show called "the wiggles". i was completely disturbed by the sight of these 4 australian men, making fools of themselves singing the most silly songs. darla informed me that they are millionaires because of their popularity and that i ought to have a little respect for them. fast forward to now: i've found the television to be a wonderful tool that i use to unabashedly babysit my son while i'm cleaning up the kitchen or on the phone in the mornings (we limit tv watching to just morning time, in case you're at all concerned). of course, tristan's FAVOURITE kid's show is "the wiggles". i figure its payback for me since i apparently didn't have enough respect for them. anyhow, there's this one song that is especially horrid and it goes something like "i wanna wear the jacket, i wanna wear the jacket" and this ridiculous looking pirate sings it. its dreadful! it goes round and round my head all day long and, now that i'm writing about it, i'm sure to have it in my head all day today.

3. the recession. its stressing me out. that and the price of groceries nowadays. OH my WORD! i ran to the store last night to buy some milk and i ended up picking up a few other necessities that we were out of like rice, sugar, apples, etc. i ended up purchasing no more than 15 items and my total was $50. completely insane.

4. the fact that, though i walk pretty much everywhere i can and though i'm eating much healthier than i used to, i'm STILL yo-yo-ing around within the same 5 lbs of the weight i've been for about 5 months now. sure, i can now fit into my pre-preggo jeans, but what's the point when they only push the inner-tube around my waist upwards so that it droops over the sides? you're welcome for that lovely mental image :)

5. a bathroom that needs cleaning, laundry that needs washing, floors that need sweeping and dishes that need scrubbing. i should be thankful to even have all of these things, right? and i am, most of the time. however, today they are all screaming at me and everywhere i look i see dirt and it makes me want to pull my hair out. ironically, it does not make me want to clean.

i have some healthy leftovers waiting for me in the fridge, but all i can think about is how good a donut would taste right now. i'm attempting to picture the donut swarming with maggots, but that image is not keeping the craving at bay. i think the towel is being thrown in...