Wednesday, July 09, 2008


there are certain tops that are in style right now that cover over a multitude of sins. they look similar to maternity tops, but without quite so much fabric. they are nicely fitted at the bust, then gracefully flutter outward without sticking onto the ol' muffin top. these tops are my friends. i have a few of them in my closet. however, it was not one of these maternity-top-look-a-likes that i was sporting this morning when asked by a friendly woman when my next baby was due. no, i was wearing what i thought was a slimming sort of black shirt that did not stick to my tummy in any way, nor did it look even remotely like something that could have been purchased in the maternity section. this top is no longer my friend.


the poor lady obviously felt embarrassed and apologized and what else could i do but smile brightly and say "that's okay" while accepting the balloon she was handing to tristan. with the fake smile plastered on my face, i bravely left the grocery store and decided immediately to put the whole thing out of my mind. it was too depressing to think about, so no more thinking about it. the look of wonder on tristan's face upon discovering that the blue balloon was actually HIS helped me to forget and i couldn't help but laugh at his squeals of delight while he batted at the balloon. as i was putting him into his car seat, somehow the balloon got caught in the door and slipped off of the ribbon i had tied to his wrist. away it flew, becoming smaller and smaller by the second. tristan watched it drift away in disbelief and i tried to cheerfully wave "bye bye balloon". his lower lip started to stick out and, sure enough, he started wailing as if his heart was broken. truth be told, i cried too. i figured he had his reasons and i had mine. so we had a bit of a tearfest, then i kissed his wet little cheeks and drove home.


oddly enough, rather than motivating me to get skinny already, that lady's comment made me want to buy a huge tub of ice cream and have at it. i refrained from doing so and tried to think of a less self destructive band-aid i could use to make those words not hurt so much. when josh called me from work later on, i told him what she had said. his words to me were sweeter than any tub of ice cream could ever be. he said, "i think you're perfect just the way you are." band-aid? who needs one. i've got a husband who loves me.


moral of the story? never EVER ask a woman when she is due if you aren't 100% sure she is pregant. and by 100% sure, i mean she's either just told you she is, or she's wearing one of those shirts that says "baby" on it with an arrow pointing to her belly.


11 comments:

Lovella said...

Amen. . . .who asks those things? Seriously. . oh and about those tops? They are my friend now too, but I being of the more mature age need to be so so so careful to buy appropriately aged tops that hide the menonpause muffin.. . so much for you to look forward to.
I'm so thankful for good men. . yours and mine.

Ken, Natalie & Liam said...

Well said Heidi! I couldn't agree more!

running wildly said...

Oh hun, I'm so sorry this happened. I would have accidentally tripped her.
I've never understood why people ask such questions. Gah. I'll join you with that tub of ice cream any day.

ateam99 said...

Honestly, I am stunned. After just seeing you, even if you were in a halter top Heidi, there would be no premise to suggest you look even slightly pregnant! On the bright side, maybe she's a prophetess. lol. And yay for God giving you such a good hubby!

Jenn & Wade said...

This is one of my pet peeves and have it in my mind that if there is a next time someone says that to me I will reach over, rub her belly, and say....."I was just going to ask you the same question, I was thinking we are probably DUE THE SAME TIME!!!"
Hopefully it will make her think twice before saying such dumb things next time....woman of all people should know not to say these things!!

Janet said...

this has happened to me too.

Alvin & Denise Engler said...

i have been there... was even by a resonably close acquaintance -- we used to be in the same care group. this was even worse because i couldn't write her off and a wing-nut. i think i did resort to icecream. good for you for resisting. heidi i have always thought you are so beautiful. i find it really hard to believe that someone actually made this comment! must have been a wing nut. that or she looked at tristan and was thinking "this lady better hurry up and have another one of these." One shouldn't waste time when one has the capability to produce such adorable babies!
-de

Shannon said...

Worse is when you are holding your newborn and people at church go "I didn't even know you were pregnant" (ie you always look like a whale)

You are beautiful. Just the way you are.

Naomi said...

I completly agree, Heidi.

We have a young friend that lost her husband this past winter in a freak accident. She lives here with her two year old daughter. The other day she was shopping for clothing for her daughter when the sales clerk asked when the next one was due. I can't tell you the hurt and loss that was in her voice when she told me about the the moment. Because there won't be a next one and it's just a reminder of all she has lost.

I would have gladly throttled the lady if given a chance.

People really need to keep their thoughts to themselves. It's what we teach children. Don't stare at someone different than you and don't comment about their appearance. Why? Because it's not polite. I don't think that changes when a person gets older.

Meredith said...

I now always answer with 'I had no idea it was any of your business'. (by always I mean it happens more than I'd like)

kelly said...

why, why, WHY do people do this? I am so with Jenn on her suggestion - throw it right back to the person :)
My neighbor asked me the other day if I was expecting. She's really a nice lady, and we chatted about the pregnancy and Taeya, etc. But as I walked away, half of me thought it was nice of her to wait until she was 100% positive I was pregnant and avoid the situation like you've just described, and half of me wondered if I just looked like a whale for the past 7 months...
isn't it interesting what we go through as women/mothers? Thankfully, we have gorgeous children and adoring husbands to love us just as we are. I've seen enough pictures of you to know you look fabulous.
dumb lady (the one who made the comment...not you! ;)