so yes, josh and i are expecting another child in case you were among the many who were confused by the video ("why is the screen all black?") by the way, the screen was black because we don't want tristan's face on public sites. initially, i was going to have the camera focused on a 2009 calendar with june 8th circled, but obviously didn't have it all together for that.
now i'll go about trying to answer your questions:
due date: is june 8th as far as we know. we have our first appointment this friday which will include an ultrasound to determine the exact age of the baby, so we'll know a more for sure date then. i am 8 weeks pregant today.
trying?: yeah, its been awhile since we initally thought we'd be pregnant. with tristan it happened right away, so this time it felt a little strange for months and months to go by, but its all in God's timing. if it were up to me, i'd have voted to wait another year or so, but josh wanted another baby like yesterday, so we agreed to compromise. don't get me wrong, i DO want and love this baby like crazy, but i'm also scared to death at times of having 2.
feeling: carsick all day long, same as with my last pregnancy. last time i was working, so i must've been distracted more because this time around i just want to lay on the couch all day long while munching on crackers. that isn't really a possibility with a toddler around, so i'm just trying to forget about the way i feel and focus on "this too shall pass". only 4 more weeks before the yuckiness is hopefully gone!
gender: will not remain a secret. i don't think i could stand the suspense. however, if this one turns out to be a girl and if we do go through with our original plan of having 3, we've decided not to find out what the 3rd one would be because we'd already have one of each.
names: will remain a secret from most people. we have a for sure girl's name and a couple of potential boy's names picked out.
cravings: watermelon, salads, doritos and potato chips. i had a thing for chicken pot pie awhile back, but then i made it myself and had leftovers galore and that pretty much took care of that craving. the things that turn me off change daily, but ground beef is something i can barely think about at all. that and most casserole-type dishes. and the aftertaste that breakfast cereal leaves in my mouth is enough to make me brush my teeth and tongue numerous times and then chew on some gum.
so far i've found that being pregnant for the 2nd time is SO different than the 1st time. for one, i don't have the ability to lay around and bask in the glow of my gestating body. i also don't have the time to be reading a ton of pregnancy books or daydreaming about pink or blue booties. honestly, there are times during the day where i nearly forget i'm pregnant. then a fresh wave of nausea hits just to remind me :) it sounds horrible to say this, but the 2nd pregnancy isn't as exciting. to clarify yet again, we ARE excited about this baby, but the novelty of everything being so new isn't there. i hope that doesn't make me sound like an unloving mother, i've just been surprised by it and wonder if other moms experience the same thing their 2nd time around.
both josh and i can't wait to see our little "jumping bean" up on the screen in 4 more days. i think it will really help make this whole thing real for both of us. "jumping bean" is a perfect nickname for the baby this week, since it is currently the size of a pinto bean! we've told tristan about the baby in mommy's tummy, but he has NO idea what it all means yet. i do think he will be a really great big brother, but i also foresee a lot of jealousy at first. he panics anytime i hold another baby or child, so i need to get him used to that. however, we have a whole 7 1/2 months to prepare him and ourselves for our new arrival. i'm going to use this time wisely by enjoying my uninterrupted sleep, cherishing my son's "only child" status for a little while longer, and praying that my Heavenly Father would give me the strength and wisdom to mother another little precious soul that ultimately belongs to Him.
we are truly blessed.