pre-menstrual ventage

thanks to all of you who left such great comments on my last post. definitely some good ideas in there that i know i'll be trying out. as of now, josh and i have determined that there are 3 main reasons why tristan screams. 1. out of frustration (if a toy he wants is stuck in a drawer) 2. out of excitement (pretty much any time he is allowed to run free outside) 3. out of anger (when we say no to something he really wants). we've decided to allow the excitement screams, for the most part and to quench the frustration screams by helping him achieve what he's trying to do. the anger screams are what we are currently working on. i think he's already gotten a bit better. either that, or i'm getting so used to the screaming that i don't even hear it anymore.

one of the things that i enjoyed the most about my pregnancy was that i never had pms! honestly, i wasn't one of those really emotional pregnant women; i actually felt the best i've ever felt, emotionally. it was fantastic. also, during the 12 months that i breastfed, i was lucky enough not to experience pms or anything else that goes along with that. of course, i had my fair share of hormonal/depressing emotions, but never that severe irritability that always seemed to be the telltale sign that i was about to get all snarky.

now that tristan is weaned, i've again joined the ranks of women who would prefer to live under a rock for one week every month rather than try to smile at the world as if nothing has changed. i HATE feeling this way! its as if every little insignificant thing that could possibly bother me is put under a magnifying glass just to make me lose my mind. i'm constantly blaming people and things in my head for the way i feel. its really awful. and, since i'm not in the mood to pretend that i'm happy and i don't feel like writing a mushy post, i'm going to make a list of the things that really irk me. i've noticed hundreds of these things in the past few days, but i'm going to refrain from listing all of them just in case i lose every one of my faithful readers in the process.

so, here they are, in no particular order: Things That Pi55 Heidi Off

1. icky men who stare. this morning, tristan and i walked to the store (well, i walked and tristan rode in his stroller) and, since i had no intention of bumping into anyone i know, i was makeupless and frumpy, wearing a baseball hat over my tangled hair. not only that, but i didn't feel like messing with my contacts, so i wore my very old and very broken glasses which are crooked on my face. any time i crossed the street, there seemed to be some older man sitting in a pickup truck STARING as i walked past. the same sort of man was leaning up against the side of the store as i entered, not bothering to keep his head from twisting to follow my progress as i walked by. SERIOUSLY, DUDES! get a life! or go home to your wife. if you think i look attractive enough to check out, you have issues.

2. a certain song the wiggles sing. i can remember back to a couple of years ago when my best bud darla drove down to visit with her hubby and son. her little guy was probably around 2 1/2 and the dvd that he was watching in their vehicle was a kid's show called "the wiggles". i was completely disturbed by the sight of these 4 australian men, making fools of themselves singing the most silly songs. darla informed me that they are millionaires because of their popularity and that i ought to have a little respect for them. fast forward to now: i've found the television to be a wonderful tool that i use to unabashedly babysit my son while i'm cleaning up the kitchen or on the phone in the mornings (we limit tv watching to just morning time, in case you're at all concerned). of course, tristan's FAVOURITE kid's show is "the wiggles". i figure its payback for me since i apparently didn't have enough respect for them. anyhow, there's this one song that is especially horrid and it goes something like "i wanna wear the jacket, i wanna wear the jacket" and this ridiculous looking pirate sings it. its dreadful! it goes round and round my head all day long and, now that i'm writing about it, i'm sure to have it in my head all day today.

3. the recession. its stressing me out. that and the price of groceries nowadays. OH my WORD! i ran to the store last night to buy some milk and i ended up picking up a few other necessities that we were out of like rice, sugar, apples, etc. i ended up purchasing no more than 15 items and my total was $50. completely insane.

4. the fact that, though i walk pretty much everywhere i can and though i'm eating much healthier than i used to, i'm STILL yo-yo-ing around within the same 5 lbs of the weight i've been for about 5 months now. sure, i can now fit into my pre-preggo jeans, but what's the point when they only push the inner-tube around my waist upwards so that it droops over the sides? you're welcome for that lovely mental image :)

5. a bathroom that needs cleaning, laundry that needs washing, floors that need sweeping and dishes that need scrubbing. i should be thankful to even have all of these things, right? and i am, most of the time. however, today they are all screaming at me and everywhere i look i see dirt and it makes me want to pull my hair out. ironically, it does not make me want to clean.

i have some healthy leftovers waiting for me in the fridge, but all i can think about is how good a donut would taste right now. i'm attempting to picture the donut swarming with maggots, but that image is not keeping the craving at bay. i think the towel is being thrown in...

advice appreciated

i find it interesting that, besides the post that tristan had arrived, the ones that brought forth the most comments were the posts where i desperately asked for advice on how to deal with the newborn i wasn't quite sure i had asked for. so, feeling a little greedy for comments, i'm asking for your advice once again. okay, so maybe i really do want advice, but seeing lots and lots of comments is always an ego boost as well ;)

my son has turned into a screamer. and i don't mean the kind of happy screams that come from toddlers being pushed on a swing. i mean all out, ear splitting screams that aren't in the least bit happy sounding. it all began about a month ago when he wouldn't get his way. he knows what the words "no touching" mean, and he's usually great about obeying them UNLESS he really, really wants to touch something. that something is usually a piece of equipment with all sorts of buttons, like our dvd player, for instance. he actually broke our dvd player by fiddling with it, even though he knew he shouldn't. thankfully, my hubby managed to fix it and now it is sitting waaay up high on top of our tv. however, even with the dvd player out of reach, he always manages to find things that he'd like to play with that he's not allowed to. (whoever invented an oven with the burner dials just above the oven door obviously didn't have kids.) and when we say "no", he very often balls his fists up, arches his back, and lets out a shriek that such a small person should not be capable of producing.

recently, these shrieking episodes of his have been getting more and more frequent. he shrieks when he's frustrated, like when he can't reach something. he shrieks when he wants my attention. and, just this morning he started shrieking for no reason at all. at 6:30 in the morning, nonetheless when most normal people are still asleep (he was up at 4:45 today). being that we live in a duplex and basically share a wall with the family next to us, i'm not too keen on the whole "ignoring him" idea.

so, here's what we've tried:

1. getting down on his level, and saying "shhhhh no screaming." quietly and calmly. this results in him screaming again, right in our face.

2. holding him tightly until he calms down and is no longer screaming. josh does this well, but i don't think its preventing him from screaming the next time he feels like it.

3. getting down on his level and saying "shhhh no screaming" and then giving his hand a little slap. this once resulted in him hitting my face and and he always starts screaming even louder.

4. ignoring him when he screams. this one only works for me when we're not in a public place because i cannot stand when other people let their children shriek and disrupt other people. it works okay, but i find i can't really be consistent about it.

okay, so those of you who gone through something similar, feel free to comment away! what worked for you? what didn't work? i know that many of you are just dying to tell others how to raise their children, and i'm giving you that opportunity right now. :)

a tidbit from this morning's sermon

claiming that some people have been "good enough" to make it into Heaven on their own is sort of like having a contest to see who can jump the farthest and then claim that the winners could jump across the Grand Canyon. no matter how hard you try, you won't make it on your own. and that's where God's Grace comes in.

an explosion of flowers

2 weeks ago...


...and today!

so, it seems that the petunias from my parents that we planted really really like it here. i absolutely LOVE growing things. i find it fascinating that all it takes is water and sun for such beauty to unfold. okay, so sometimes i've given too much water and not enough sun, or vice versa and i have had plenty of plants die, but for the most part, i think josh and i are pretty good flower growers!

tristan got a little sunflower growing kit in his easter basket and so we dutifully "planted" the little sunflower seeds in the container they came in, added a disc of soil and water and voila! a few days later we had 5 little sprouts coming up. today i planted them along the fence and they look so tiny and vulnerable, but i'm very excited to see how well they grow. i have to admit that i'm a bit of a dork (if you haven't figured that out already) and i've already gone out once to check on them and make sure that they're still alive out there.

the crazy-fun wading pool hasn't yet emerged from it's box since its been a little chilly up until this weekend. now that its HOT out, tristan has become sick and i'm sure that the last thing he feels like doing is sitting in a pool of cold water outside while the santa ana winds hurl dust and pollen in his face. he got his MMR shots last week (measles, mumps and rubella) and i was told by the dr. that if he has any reaction to them, that it will occur 7 days after the shots were given. well, exactly 7 days later was when he became feverish and achey and altogether miserable. poor little dude. i've been overlapping the tylenol and ibuprofin a bit because once the medicine wears off, he completely falls apart and is inconsolable until the next dose kicks in. makes for pretty fun nights! he now weighs 31lbs and i can't remember his height, but both his head circumference and his height are off the charts for his age. no wonder the only hats that fit him are meant for 5 year olds!

cute

we were in wal-mart yesterday when a complete stranger came up to me and told me "you have to have more kids; your little boy is ADORABLE!" it took me by surprise somewhat, and i wondered for awhile how she would have responded if i had said "no, i don't want to have anymore." i agree completely that he is cute, but there are many times when i wonder just how cute he actually is, knowing that my view of him is utterly tainted with mushy love.

recently i began the monumental task of organizing photos and putting them in albums. i hadn't done this since august 2006, and i knew that every month it would get worse and worse. finally i just dug in and started gathering the photos and putting them in piles according to month. being quite anal and organized, i wasn't able to just write "spring 2007" on the back of a picture; i had to figure out exactly which month (and preferably, which day) that photo had been taken. it took me FOREVER to label and organize a year's worth of pictures. now i have to develop the ones taken from august 2007 onwards! anyhow, while looking through the ENORMOUS amounts of photos we took of tristan as a newborn (please, i want to know WHY we simply had to have 10 different pictures of him sleeping developed), i was surprised first of all by how that little baby turned into our little boy and second of all, how we failed to notice as new parents that our child's nose was so large. seriously, he had a HUGE nose. thankfully, he's obviously grown into it, but in some early pictures, all i can see is two big nostrils with eyes and a mouth in the background. (if you don't believe me, check out his blog and click on the archives from jan-feb 06)

everyone knows the cardinal rule of never letting parents know that their kid is funny looking, but i always thought that if our kid was funny looking, we'd be able to notice it ourselves. obviously, we had our lovey dovey glasses on back then, but are we still wearing them? is it completely absurd of me to pass by a dozen other babies in strollers in the mall and still think "my baby is the cutest of them all!"? and if it's not completely absurd, is it completely true? because i'll bet you anything that the other mommies are thinking the same thing about their child. hmmm...something to ponder.

so, in wal-mart, we bought tristan his first pair of crocs and also his first wading pool from money that gramps gave him for easter. when i had the brilliant idea of getting him a little pool, i was thinking of the pools from my childhood...you know, the round ones with sides that you just sat and splashed in. when we saw the assortment of pools they make nowadays, we were a little blown away. for a mere $20 you can get a pool that not only has blow-up animals sitting on the edges, but also a slide, a floaty toy ring toss, and a part that shoots water if you plug the hose into it. seriously, when did backyard wading pools evolve into complete kiddie playgrounds? i had no idea. of course, for a mere $8 you can still get the typical little round pool, but josh and i, imagining our son frolicking in the spray, giggling down the little slide, and splashing in the water, decided we couldn't live without getting the crazy amusement park in a box. just watch, he'll take one look at it and start crying and that will be the end of that :)

today josh and i are going on a date to see a matinee at the movie theater. what we watch depends on what time tristan wakes up from his nap. i'm excited, but just realized that i haven't put a stitch of makeup on yet and my hair is still wet from my shower. better go attend to that, then.