nesting & blooming

my first flower from the seeds that i planted months ago has bloomed! i can see this cheery cosmos flower from my usual spot on the couch and it makes me smile. other than the cosmos, tristan's sunflowers and a few snapdragons, nothing much else has made it. my zinnias have all burnt to a crisp and the pretty little nameless flowers that my parents bought us are all brown and shriveled as well. finding flowers that grow well in this climate is proving to be a bit challenging, but i'll keep on trying out new things because i'm sick to death of geraniums!

oftentimes i feel as if i'll have one good day followed by one bad day in regards to pain and sometimes my mood. yesterday, however was a very good day and today is so far following suit. its the first day that i'm actually downstairs during tristan's nap. normally i stay upstairs while he is sleeping so that i don't have to go all the way upstairs again once he wakes up. today, however, i really didn't feel like napping in bed ( had a lovely nap yesterday which made us late for my doctor's appointment) and the book i was reading wasn't grabbing me, so i made my way down the stairs on my bum and hobbled about like an old granny with my walker as i dusted the living room. such a small accomplishment, but it feels good. i'm still not walking on my own, but i can feel my grip on the walker lessen gradually as i put more and more faith in my leg. my goal is to be wheelchairless this saturday for the ladies' tea at our church, which means that i'll be able to sit at the table like a normal person!

i'm still having contractions every day, which are more of a nuisance than anything else. i highly doubt they are doing much of anything to my cervix, but if they are, that wouldn't be much different from my last pregnancy in which i was 2cm dilated for weeks. i'm now 34 weeks, which is a big "magic number" in terms of delivering a healthy baby. of course, we don't want him out just yet; 37 weeks is the big goal, which is when i'll be able to deliver at a hospital closer to us rather than the one that i stayed in for a week because of their fabulous NICU. samuel seems to be sleeping for longer periods of time at this point. yesterday, during my NST, we were there for an hour while the nurse kept trying to wake him up, finally resorting to putting a little buzzer next to my belly. that bothered him greatly, getting his heart rate way up, which was the point of the whole thing, but then it wouldn't come back down. his movements seem more muted as well, which i assume is because its getting pretty tight in there. i do remember tristan moving around quite a bit more at this point, so my hope is that samuel will be a much better sleeper ;)

my urge to nest has begun already. i'm dying to get my hands on the bin of 0-3 month clothing that tristan wore, and sort through it along with the newer outfits samuel got from the shower. i want to get his room all ready, with the newborn diapers set out on the changing table next to the wipes and baby powder. i want to see the crib set up with freshly washed sheets and his brand new cowboy blankets waiting to cover him. at this point i think i'll just be limited to going through the clothes and that will have to do for now. perhaps i'll have a chance to hang them up in his closet one day soon...(sigh) its at times like this that i really do not like living in a 2 storey house.