Tuesday, December 15, 2009

i could not ask for more

thanks for all the great advice. we had 2 smallish poops yesterday that were about the same consistency as silly putty. (never EVER thought i'd be writing that sentence...and i apologize to my childless readers who are throwing up in their mouths a little right now) going from extremely liquidy breastmilk poops to silly putty poops is quite drastic for my little guy. i'm not sure if he is in pain from the constipation because he's turned into a fussy little mess ever since he started teething. i am hopeful, however, that a nice big poop will turn my whining boy into his old happy self, so i've been adding prune juice to all of his food and just discovered this morning that he really likes to suck it out of a medicine dropper. and sorry, jill but i can't promise you that i won't post pictures of a blowout if it does in fact take place. i may just be that ecstatic.

i was out late last night (late for me means past 10:00pm) with my dear friend j'lene. when i got home, josh asked me what we talked about. i thought for a moment and then sheepishly admitted, "our kids." why in the world we are so desperate to leave our kids at home, only to talk about nothing else for 2 1/2 hours is beyond me! i guess when you're a stay at home mom, your kids are pretty much your life. there are days when i'm in the middle of changing a diaper or reading "curious george" for the thousandth time and i'll suddenly think to myself "who AM i? what are my tastes and interests and hobbies and passions?" i feel at times as if they are all buried underneath the name "mommy" and that sort of makes me sad. but i also know that this is all temporary, that before i know it my babies will be off to school and then college and then making families of their own. and then these seemingly long days of parenting small children will only be a small moment of time in my memory. thinking of it that way makes me happy to sacrifice much of my old self in favor of the privilege and great responsibility of being the one who kisses the boo-boo's of my boys. how lucky i am, really to have them to myself all day!

though i admit i wasn't feeling too lucky this morning. samuel has decided that he wants to be just like his big brother, starting with waking up at the crack of dawn. both of the boys were up at 5am and by 6:30, after josh had left for work, it was Cranky Central over at my house. i sent a quick email to my mom and, knowing that she has the day off today, teasingly asked, "wanna come over?" we don't really joke like that with each other too often because it hurts too much to picture how things would be if we lived closer to one another. but this morning i just couldn't help it. i knew that somehow a good dose of grammie would do all 3 of our hearts good. no sooner had i clicked "send" than there was a knock on the door. my dear, sweet mother in law was standing outside with a smile and a decaf peppermint mocha....just for me, just because! she swooped in to give kisses and hugs before leaving for work and i had to stop and thank my God who cares about me, even in the littlest tiny things, like missing my mom. he has blessed me with such an amazing second family, i have no idea how i lucked out!

so now the toddler is downstairs building the most fantastic train track route you've ever seen. i'm upstairs savoring my peppermint mocha while listening for sounds of diaper blowout coming from my sleeping baby's room. my amazing husband is working (yes! still working!!) hard to provide for us. and there are only 10 days till christmas.....i am one blessed mama.


kelly ens said...


Randy and Julie said...

I too wish my mom lived closer...Im so glad that you married into a good family. Like you I have an awsome mother in law, though she does live an hour and a half away it does take some of the sting away of missing my mom. Thank goodness for cell phones, as I talk to my mom almost every day. Yay that Samuel pooped!

Jessica said...

That last paragraph made me laugh. Literally. And what a blessing to have such a thoughtful mother in law!

Adams family said...

Wonderfully worded, love this post.

Jennifer said...

I loved your reflections here.

Your hobbies and interests never fully leave you. You could say that they are burried under your current workload, or that they are on the back burner or set aside for now. But they will always be a part of what makes you tick. And they are always what we tend to fall on at times when they are most needed to pick us up.

And eventually they do come back.
There will be a day either when your mind is so numbed with nursery rhymes that sanity requires you to stand up and take back what makes you happy. Or when it's just time and that shockingly you do or can make time. Even a short and irratic time for starters. But at last it turns into a regular time when you can do something for you.
Anyways either it becomes mandatory or else it just comes about when it's time.
For me it was a yoga class that I got interested in taking.
For you it may be as easy as going to the library and getting into a great book. Oh but you are reading as it is...so you are doing great!
Well pick one thing more and make it happen. I picked dancing and make up...then knitting.
Relish in that one favorite thing for just that time. And then it will be time soon enough to be mommy again. Being mommy will be unavoidable for a long time yet.
I am glad that you already have a sense of it happening all so fast.
Heck, we'll be grandma's next!