Monday, March 22, 2010

the dreaded 2-1 switch




when you can think of nothing else to update your facebook status with other than complaints about your baby's sleep, you know that you have issues. but he has issues too, i promise you. his biggest issue is that he refuses to adhere to my wishes when it comes to sleep. i wish for him to take a nice little morning nap and a nice little afternoon nap, just like every other 9 month old baby. and yet he refuses to fall asleep for his afternoon nap no matter what i do, which means that by the time 6:00 rolls around he is over tired, which means that when he goes to bed, he awakens several times during the night due to his over tiredness.

* if you are rolling your eyes at my blog right now, you may as well quit reading because it only gets worse.*

i have no problem with keeping him in his crib until he falls asleep. he can babble and whine and fuss and giggle and coo as much as he likes and i won't go in there. except that he will continue to babble and whine and fuss and giggle and coo for an hour or so.....and by that time, if he were to finally fall asleep, his nap would be so late in the day that it would mess up his bedtime.

i have no problem with waking him up early from his morning nap so that he's nice and tired for his afternoon nap. except that the last few times i tried that, he still refused to take an afternoon nap, which meant that he only slept for a total of 30 minutes the entire day and those nights were not pretty.

from what i've read, babies are usually ready to move from 2 naps a day to 1 nap a day when they are between 12 and 18 months old. the older they are the better. the reason for this is that when they are younger than 12 months old, they aren't able to stay awake for a long enough amount of time to make it to their new nap time before falling asleep. even though i know this, and even though i know that my baby gets really sleepy and cuddly right around 10am, i have decided to take the plunge and switch him to a mid-day nap because i feel i have no other choice.

this decision has resulted in a child who, by 11am is so tired that he is literally falling asleep while sitting on the floor, his poor little head falling onto his chest and then jerking awake. this decision has also resulted in a whole lot of night wakings, starting at 45 minutes after his bedtime and continuing throughout the night. i know that he is over tired and that he is having difficulty adjusting to this new routine, but i have no idea what else to do except pray that he gets used to it soon because being awakened 7 times a night by a sobbing baby is really no picnic.

thoughts, advice and well-wishes appreciated :)


25 comments:

Jodi said...

I hope it gets better Heidi..that is so hard, and I also wish I had good advice but I don't...the only thing I will say is TRUST YOURSELF...you know your babies better than any book, if it feels right for you and your family then it is.

dj kosmotronix said...

Hi Heidi,

Sorry you have had so much trouble. We have had some of the same trouble, but not quite as frequent. Tamara kindly tends to baby at night, because of my work schedule, and I have him during the day. I don't have any advice, just sympathy. I wish we could be there to help.

Blessings,
-ML

Kari said...

Heidi-
I'm so sorry! You must be exhausted! I don't have any great advice- just a few thoughts. Does little Samuel have lots of time to crawl around and pull up on things, jump and wear himself out before his afternoon nap? Coranelle falls asleep so much better when she's had a chance to get physically tired.
Oh, and is he still swaddled? If he is, maybe he would fall asleep better on his tummy? Not sure.
I'll be thinking of you and hope that it all gets ironed out soon!

Korinne said...

Your post brings back memories of the struggles I had with Mercy. It was so frustrating! I finally tried just putting her down for her nap and letting her fall asleep, even if it seemed late. And two hours later I'd put her down for her regular naptime. My daughter isn't like most kids - I came to realize that quite quickly when she was a baby. She would take the LATE nap and then go to bed at a regular time and sleep just fine! With her, I discovered that the quantity of sleep in the daytime helped her quantity of sleep in the nighttime. It was crazy, but it worked. So she'd wake up at about 5-6 and go back to bed at 7-8. Couldn't hurt to try?

Korinne said...

Oops, should read "...And two hours later I'd put her down for her regular BEDTIME."

Anneliese said...

Just well wishes from me..

Jordan and Breanna Abeel said...

I sympathize with you...Clara turned six months old and her sleep habits have completely changed, and not for the better. Things that used to work for her don't anymore, so I am at square one as well!

Anika said...

I think this is the kind of post I really shouldn't read. Naomi has yet to develop a really good sleep pattern. She sleeps, but not nearly as long as I would like, especially at night. So, I have no suggestions. I only shudder a little at what I have to look forward to. Hope it's just a phase for you and he figures it out.

Anonymous said...

Heidi,
All i can tell you on my end is that Autumn has been a "one nap" baby since she was 9 months and we are still doing this at 2 1/2. Instead of struggling to make her nap twice, she just easily fell into one long nap and it has worked like a dream so i never bothered to change it. Up at 7:30, nap at 1p (used to be 12p when she was younger and napping longer) and then bed at 8p. If she ends up getting up extra early or extra late, I just adjust the nap time a bit, and sometimes if she sleeps too long in the afternoon I wake her (not if she's sick though).... anyways, hope this helps.. Val

rachel joy said...

You're right, it's totally no picnic. The main advice or suggestion (only because you asked!) I have is that I think it might help to forget that part about "every other 9 month old baby". No baby is the same! Not every baby will follow a set plan for wake, sleep, eat, etc. I'm sure others have criticized me for my non-scheduling, but I find it best to just watch my kid for cues, and do my best to make it work for everyone. I like to just go with the flow until I see an opportunity to change the things that aren't working. (Yes, that means my boys have fallen asleep in the high chair on more than one occasion!) I used to call my sister (now awaiting the arrival of her baby number SIX!) and ask "Is this normal?" about one thing or another. She would always answer that there is no normal. These adorable little creatures are just so unpredictable ... it drives us nuts but it's the nature of who they are. I also find the living room floor a great place to nap. My boys are much happier when I catch some daytime winks there rather than in my bed!

running wildly said...

I'm pulling up a chair, pouring myself a cup of joe and putting on a Snuggie.........because we are part of No Sleep Club. Get comfy, honey. Best not fight it. Go with what the little boy is telling you. If your gut says cut the nap, then do it and bear through the days where he nods off in his highchair. (Is it terrible that I'm giggling just picturing that?) My gut said to wean the swaddle and increase her A time. Day 3 and as you know, lat night was HORRENDOUS. But grin and bear it, we shall. I still think I will prevail. And so will you. It's logic, sweetie. He says no to the afternoon nap, so set his clock....and he'll have one nap. It will work. You just have to be patient in getting there.

Big hugs. I'm pouring a cup of coffee and cheersing you from here.

Lovella ♥ said...

oh heidi. .i'm up at 5 because I can't sleep ..how ironic is that? I pray that you are sleeping right now. .and if you are not. .that you will still feel rested for the day. ..hugs.

Neha said...

Follow your intutions and what you feel is best for your baby 'coz Moms know the best! I'm sure he will come around to it soon.....take care and hope you and your baby get adequate rest every day.

Grandma J. said...

This too shall pass, uh, I know that sounds so trite, but it is true. Hope it all improves tremendously for you soon and start counting the days until I can help out! XO

Lori said...

Well, you know how I feel about these supposed babies not being physically able to have one nap until they are 12-18 months. Especially since I've had two of the best sleepers ever, apparently, and both of them went to one nap between 6-8 months. (Although, Matthew's new thing is to wake up and play for a half hour in his bed at approximately midnight which is weird). So, I advocate sticking with it and hoping Samuel settles into a routine soon.

Maybe you could feed him lunch at like 11 and then put him down. Maybe then he'd sleep from like 11:30-2:30 and be ready to hit the hay and sleep good for you at night. You could always give him a small lunch before his nap and hearty snack after.

Ginny said...

I agree with the early lunch and nap at 11ish when he starts showing you he's tired. This will slowly adjust until he takes one nap later and later. You can push it as he adjusts to staying awake more. Then he should be ready for bed when you want him to go down.

kelly ens said...

oh heidi, i feel your pain! when Ezra was doing this, I knew he wasn't ready for only 1 nap a day, so I let him have a good long nap in the morning, gave him his lunch and put him down at his normal afternoon time. He would talk for an hour or more, and then finally fall asleep. and then I would wake him up at the proper time (say 4 or 5, whatever it was at that stage), so he'd had just a long enough nap to get him through to bedtime.
i know that the afternoon ends up being the nap when it's just one nap, but once he's older and can adjust, it will be easier to move his morning nap later and later and eventually eliminate his late afternoon power snooze.
that said, you have to do what works for you, but you asked for suggestions, so that's mine :)
good luck!

Thoughts on Life and Millinery. said...

Oh this one is easy to solve:

Book a flight to Hawaii with Josh.

Leave both children in a basket on a doorstep that belongs to either Aunt Sis or Granny S.

Don't apologize when you return. Simply pick up the boys, comment at how rested and refreshed you feel and then drive over to Aunt Sis or Granny S.'s house (which ever one didn't get the boys last time..) and repeat until both boys are potty trained, and have completed taking the SAT tests for college.

Occasionally go with them to Canada too. Just because.

Bonnie said...

The last suggestion is great--you should do that.
Carson quit his morning nap before he was a year too. He would melt down by supper but we pushed through, and soon he was better. Luckily this is when he finally slept better at night for us!
Good luck, you'll figure out what works best.

Sara said...

That was Shae. I could remember his little head falling to his chest and jerking awake and falling asleep while eating or playing. I think what I did was get him through that sleepy time (which was tough, but it was only about 30 minutes and once you got over the tough part he had a good hour or two left in him) and put him to bed earlier. Who knows goodluck!

Jessica said...

It won't be like this for long...

That's what I keep telling myself. And I think that the very first comment on this post was amazingly encouraging, for myself even, so thanks Jodi!

You're an amazing mom & you guys will find that new nap groove.

jamie said...

i don't know if you know me but i love reading your blog as i am a mummy myself. i was closer in age to your brother and i think i sort of knew you from central heights? but anyway, i wanted to share a WONDERFUL website called Chronicles of a Babywise Mom. It has answered so many of my questions about so many things. On the right hand side is a really long list of quicklinks to different issues. Hope it helps!

Becky said...

hi heidi,
Charlotte is finally ok with a morning nap, but refuses to sleep in the aftenoon. The only way I can get the pm nap in is going for a long walk, because she sometimes falls asleep in the stroller. I've pretty much given up the pm nap and started putting her to bed at 7:30. We just keep her busy, chase her, plop her in the bath to keep her awake until then. While she's still up at 12, then 3, then 6, she usually falls right back asleep if I nurse her. Good luck!

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Thoughts on Life and Millinery. said...

Oh shoot! I'll bet that last comment from an Asian person has deep insight and ancient secrets from the Orient. Such a pity we can't understand what was said!