Monday, August 22, 2011
life right now
my tristan is so sweet and intuitive. he's always asking questions about the baby and the other day was asking me, "so mama, baby ava sleeps and eats and then she's awake for a bit and then she sleeps again more?" i nodded and he thought for a minute before saying, "does she do that at night time too?" and i told him that her tummy is so small right now that yes, she has to eat at night as well. he looked at me with concern all over his face as he said, "but mommy, you need to sleep too!" oh, son, how very true. so i explained to him that babies grow quickly and their tummies grow too so that soon she'll be able to sleep longer and longer without waking mommy up. the whole time i was telling him this, i was praying that it would indeed be true for ava.
the last two nights i've had 3 hours of solid sleep at a time, which has felt heavenly. she is slowly learning to fall back asleep after her night time feedings, though there are nights where it seems she's forgotten how to again. during the day she is so much more alert and awake, taking so much in at once. samuel was pretending to be a dinosaur yesterday and was "roaring" quite convincingly at ava, when her little face scrunched up and she burst into tears. sam was horrified once he realized that he had scared his little sister, and was quick to kiss her over and over again. as much as i want her to learn to get used to the noise level of this household, i'm finding it difficult not to shush the boys so much when she's about to fall asleep. loud noises seem to really bother her and so many times she's on the brink of dreamland, only to be jerked awake by some noise, begin to cry, and then start trying to fall asleep all over again.
naps, for the most part, take place in my moby wrap, which she still adores. once i know she is deeply asleep, i transfer her to her crib. i'm so not ready to begin sleep training with her, (not letting her cry it out, but rather to gently teach her to fall asleep on her own in her crib) just because of how time consuming it can be, so i'm enjoying the feeling of a drowsy baby against my chest while having both hands free to do other things like fold laundry or get the boys some lunch. still, i do wish that she enjoyed a bit more time not being held because i feel like my cuddly boys are missing out on mommy hugs and snuggles. sam is having the most difficult time of it as the middle child and now cries when we drop him off at sunday school (which i don't think he's ever done before) and often wants me to pick him up and hold him. tristan is more understanding, but is constantly asking if he can do something with me instead of playing independantly or with his brother and i do as much as i can, but sometimes i feel so spread thin. what keeps me sane are the evenings when ava happens to fall asleep at a decent hour, when i can curl up on the couch with josh and watch tv while we take turns giving one another foot massages. i don't know what i'd do without that man.
today was the first day that i was brave enough to venture out with all 3 kids to do some groceries. we made it out of the house right at sam's usual nap time, which didn't bode well, but it was ava who had the biggest issues, hating her car seat more than ever. thankfully i had packed the moby in the diaper bag, so there i was in the middle of the cereal aisle, intricately wrapping a hundred yards of fabric around my body as fast as i could while the baby screamed, samuel fussed while rubbing his eyes, and tristan reminded me over and over again that he had to go pee so bad! i am proud to say that i remained calm throughout the whole ordeal, even though i sacrificed the last few items on my shopping list in favor of a quick escape. and for the first time ever i said, "yes please!" when asked if i'd like help to my vehicle. so the nice young man who bagged my groceries also placed them into my car while i got the kids all strapped in, saving me quite a bit of time and keeping my sanity in tact.
so, its been an incredibly challenging past few weeks, but i'm thinking i've survived the worst of it! that is, until the teething kicks in. but we won't think about that yet...