Thursday, January 25, 2007

schedules schmedules

well, i was looking around for a picture to post just to make my blog look more interesting, but the majority of the pictures we've been taking are of tristan, of course, except for a couple of me opening birthday presents that aren't too shall i say it...slimming? not that i'm vain or anything, but by golly, WHEN will all of this FAT disappear? i was told that while breastfeeding, the weight just "melts away" well, so far nothing has melted since after i delivered except for 2 measly pounds. that is part of the reason that zandra and i are going for a lovely walk to the park tomorrow. the other reason is that it feels so good to get out of the house once in awhile and feel sort of normal.

thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. i have tried many of the tips and they have helped. another thing that helped me tremendously is the decision to STOP reading so many books on putting the baby on a schedule that only confuse my brain and to just trust my instincts. this came about last night after a horrid evening involving a screaming child who would not be consoled and a mother who refused to feed him since technically it hadn't been 3 hours yet. we brought him to our bible study, thinking he'd fall asleep in the car like any normal infant, but oh no, he was awake the whole time and decided to wait right until the study started to show off how loud he can really wail. thank God my mother in law was there to take him out and rock him and finally, out of desparation i decided to feed him (even though it had only been an hour and a half since he last ate) and lo and behold, there was silence. and it was heavenly. and the child slept peacefully all the way until midnight, and then again for another 4 hours, then another 5 which gave me my very first FULL NIGHTS SLEEP IN 3 WEEKS!!! i felt like a new woman today. so i'm putting all of the advice i've read on hold right now and doing things the old fashioned way. baby cries, i feed him. baby is tired, i put him to bed. wake baby up...are you KIDDING ME? i've gotten more done all day today than the past 3 weeks combined. now the true test to my new plan will be to see if he sleeps so well tonight...i'm a little worried he'll be all bright eyed and ready to play at 3am, but we shall see.

hmmm, what else is new. on saturday i'm venturing "down the hill" all by myself to meet a friend from work for coffee, then on to babies r us to find the one and only pacifier that tristan likes..the one they gave him in the hospital. then i'm picking up my wedding rings from the jewellers and i'm hoping so hard that they will fit my fat fingers. i miss them. sunday is my birthday and i have absolutely NO idea what i will be doing that day. it's funny how having a baby changes your focus so much. i'm already looking forward to my parents driving down to visit in march (only a month and a half away!) my dad has yet to meet his first grandson. and i'm even more excited about our trip up to canada in july. josh and i are planning on spending one night in victoria, partly because he's never been and i think EVERYONE needs to go there, but mostly because we have a friend who lives there (hi miriam!) that we really want to visit.

my name is heidi and i'm addicted to blogs.


Shannon King said...

Hi Heidi,

We went to school together at good old VCS. I have been ready your blog for awhile now and I just wanted to say Congratulations on your new baby boy Tristan.
I'm glad everything is working itself out regarding your little man. I'm sure your a great mommy and eventually Tristan will adjust to his own schedule. A nurse once told me that sometimes it's not that a baby wants to eat all the time but instead sometimes they just want a small drink or a little snack just like an adult would want. I know with my son sometimes he would want to feed just so he could be close to me and cuddle. I don't know if this advise is great advise but it did work for me and all 3 of my children slept through the night by 1 month in age. Anyways good luck with everything and enjoy your time out tomorrow. Walking is a great stress reliever.

Christina said...

Hi Heidi. We need to start bloggers anonymous. Somebody stop me. I am starting to develope feelings for my computer that were never there before.

Alvin & Denise said...

i think blogs are the new soap opera.

i think you're right about trusting your instincts. i am a pretty rigid baby scheduler because i neeeed predictability to survive, but i found that often they seem to like to "cluster feed" (feed a few times close together) to sort of tank up for the night. later on, i also found putting them to bed around 9 ish and then sneaking in to feed them while they're sleeping at around 11 -- not waking them up (keep it dark and don't say anything) would make for a nice 4-6 hour stretch right when i wanted and needed it. all kinds of things one can experiment with. sounds like you are well read though.

the fat just "melts away?" -- on some lucky people... not my experience though.


Lee said...

ok, I just left u a long comment! Where is it???? argh!

btk said...

The fat melts away, hey? Yeah, that's what "they" told me, too! And I ended up gaining weight instead of losing!!! My mother and sister both had the opposite experience, being pre-pregnancy weight within a few short weeks of giving birth. That made it even harder for me to take.

A "scheduling" book that was an absolute Godsend for me was "The Babywhisperer". Instead of teaching me how to put Mercy on a schedule that suited me, it instead taught me how to figure out what she needed. Then I realized there was a pattern to her cries and expressions and I could create a "baby lead" schedule out of that, eventually. By 9 weeks she slept through the night on a pretty consistent basis. I try to tell everyone about that book. There's a website and forum dedicated to the books' followers too and it's a great place for support (I'm a member!)

Meredith said...

My comments never seem to show up, but in caes this one does I want to say hi! I am a huge fan of do what works for you, in a babywhisperer way.
Nothing has ever melted off me, especially weight from babies, sadly 15 of what I now have still belongs to Gabriel (age3.5) and 10 for Michael (16m).

Lovella said...

good for you. you are the mommy of Tristan and you know what is best for Tristan. Say that over and over again.
ny name is Lovella and I'm addicted to blogs because of you Heidi. . . i'm big on shifting blame. smile

kelly said...

you have to find what you are comfortable with. Like Denise, I needed routine to survive, and I'm SOOOO glad i started Taeya on one pretty quickly (and she fell into it really easily too). I wish I had read the Baby Whisperer when she was an infant, because it would have been way easier to solve her sleep issues at a younger age. it seemed to work itself out in the long run, but i really like what the baby whisperer has to say - very practical and reasonable. But again, you have to do what's right for you. I know other moms who thrive on demand feeding or attachment parenting, which works for them. Each to their own! You will find your style, and then stick to it. Tristan (and all babies) need consistency, whichever parenting style they receive.

Rachel Z said...

some of my comments have gone into oblivion too ... I'll keep this one short in case it never gets seen.

I'm so glad you're going with your instincts and figuring out Tristan's cues. I'm so not a scheduler by any means and it seems to be working out just fine. I have yet to read Baby Whisperer but have heard many moms appreciate it. He's still so very young, any kind of pattern could be a long way off. And you're right, he'll change it up just when you think you've got it figured out.

And about that baby weight ... I'm sorry you were so dreadfully misled about it "melting away". Keep in mind that it took you 9 months to put it on - and that was the easy part! Keep with your walks and activity and don't put too much pressure on yourself to get it off. All in time ...