Tuesday, June 02, 2009

and waiting some more...

i am now purposely ignoring every back-ache-ish type feeling and every painful contraction that randomly comes my way instead of getting excited and watching the clock. i am also trying to plan things to do this week so that my schedule doesn't continue to depress me with its glaring emptiness.

i'm also purposely trying to thoroughly enjoy every last moment i have with tristan as my only child, knowing that any moment could be the last. sunday was a particularly difficult day for me emotionally. i really didn't expect to be in church, thinking i'd be home with a newborn or at least in the hospital with him, so to waddle/limp in those doors and hear a million different people saying "oh, he'll come when he's ready" just was not what i needed to hear right then. in the afternoon, after all 3 of us napped, we went to a local park and i sat in my wheelchair in the shade while watching my husband and son throw bread to the ducks in the pond. taking deep breaths of the fresh air helped to clear my mind and i couldn't help but realize that if samuel had arrived already, then the moment that i was enjoying so much would not have happened.

yesterday, my physical therapist told me that i'm not ready for a cane yet. she mostly was concerned about the balance issue with me being so front heavy and all, but she also thought that i limp far too much at this point. what i hadn't realized until she told me was that i've been holding my cane in the wrong hand! i'm supposed to hold it in my left hand (my right leg is broken) to help with balance when i walk. even though she said i need to keep using my walker when i go out anywhere, she said that using a cane at home would be fine and so i've been using that thing as much as possible and i have to say that i think i'm improving every day. if i concentrate hard enough, my limp is hardly noticeable. now, thinking about holding a baby while walking still gives me the jitters, so i can't think too far ahead, but i'm using this time of waiting to prepare myself physically as much as possible.

sorry for the lack of pictures lately... i think that picture less posts seem more boring. however, our camera is packed away in our hospital bag which currently resides in our car, waiting as (im)patiently as we are.

10 comments:

Hotshot's Wife said...

Live up every moment! Spoil Tristan as much as you can, since he is an only child right now. I am praying for a quick recovery for your leg/balance, etc. Each day is one day closer to be free from those walker/cane things.
Love & Hugs,
TRISH

Natalie said...

oh, I'd be beside myself! Way to be positive! and yes, babies come when they want- but that's never what anyone in their right mind should say to a 9+ month pregnant woman :)
Hopefully you are staying out of the heat and resting up!

Family Of Five said...

I used my baby bjorn ALL the time!! Even in the house so I could have free hands! I could still pick up my son, give him cuddles while I had my daughter in the baby bjorn. I don't know what I would have done without it!

Nicole said...

I agree that it helps to cherish those last few days as a family of three. Here's hoping that the false labour turns into the real thing VERY soon :)

Shannon said...

I always joked that the first thing I would doo when I meet my baby is spank him for taking so long. :)


Praying for you. Pregnancy is one month too long on purpose. (so you don't care HOW he gets out, just so long as he gets out)

Jennifer said...

I think that is a perfect place for your camera...there will be loads of pictures soon.

Lots of people don't know to hold the cane in the opposite hand...can't remember when or where I learned this...

Praying Samuel has the kind of baby personality you need to make it though this time.

Sara said...

June 10th...

Z-Mama said...

I'm checking on you every day, sweetie. Wish we could hang out, but Evie was sick this weekend and I've kept us pretty quarantined. Tonight we went to watch the guys play baseball, but we haven't really left the house otherwise since Saturday. She is better today, so I think we are going to coffee Friday...maybe we'll see you there?!

Kari said...

Oh Heidi! Waiting is so stinking hard! I will be praying for you as your wait for your little guy! It will be so worth it! Maybe he will come exactly on his due date- just like Coranelle. I am thinking about you lots. Hang in there and enjoy your time wit Tristan and Josh!

lifewithwalden said...

I started to leave you this long comment, but then lost it. Ugh.

Thank you for stopping by my blog. You are right, time does fly. (except when you are waiting on babies or Canada's surgical waitlist)

You are in my prayers, and will be especially in them during the birth. I'm praying for a healthy delivery with no trauma or injury to you, and a special and good transition from being mama to one to mama to two. Blessings to you!