i am officially old. i can remember when my mom was 30 and it sounded so ancient.
my birthday was nice. i had some friends stop by with pretty flowers and things for me, and phone calls throughout the day. in the evening, josh picked up some greek food and i opened some presents and i really liked everything i got. then, after the kids were in bed, i had a bath while sipping a glass of wine and, for some reason, that's when everything kind of went downhill. i just could not stop crying. it was the strangest thing. in hindsight, i blame it all on the wine. it was rather ridiculous and i knew that it was ridiculous, but i was like a leaking faucet. i kept telling myself to "get a grip!", but it was no use. eventually i ended up sobbing some nonsense to my poor husband who couldn't figure out what to say or do to make me feel better. and then i fell asleep.
i have never had a birthday where i've felt depressed about my age until now. and really, WHY was i feeling depressed about my age?? i have no idea. i can tell you one thing, though. crying right before going to bed does nothing good for the eyes. this morning i felt as though a 5 pound weight was hanging off of each eyelid.
speaking of 5 pound weights, i've been consistently doing the "30 day shred" dvd and have been consistently feeling worse and worse. yesterday i took a quick walk with the boys to the post office and by the time i got home i had to keep both of my legs elevated, they were so stinking sore. my formerly fractured leg is still finicky and so when i'm doing things like jumping jacks, i'm favoring my right leg, which means that i'm basically jumping up and down on one leg. a lot. and now my left leg hurts even worse than my right. i'm not sure how to remedy this situation since nearly every cardio exercise involves using your legs. i would love to go swimming, but there are no indoor pools in my town. so i think i'm back to pushing the stroller up large hills again.
today i am going to trek to the mall and use some of my birthday money to buy new shoes. i love it that our feet stay relatively the same size whether we gain or lose weight. though my dress size and waist size and bra size and ring size may continually change, i will always fit into a size 8 1/2 shoe and that is somehow a comforting thought. then i am going to stop by bath & bodyworks and purchase something that smells yummy with a giftcard i got from christmas. ahh, nothing like a little retail therapy to get over the birthday blues, right?