just in case you're planning on voting...

i had heard rumors of this, but didn't have the stomach to google it until today. what i found out is highly disturbing: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=51121

Frugal Friday

i'm going to be perfectly honest with you here: times are tough right now. work has not been plentiful for josh and there have been days where he only works for a few hours because there just isn't anything available. actually, there is no scheduled work until the middle of october. so, every night before i fall asleep, i pray fervently for josh to have work for the next day. and, so far this week, my prayers have been answered. it reminds me of the manna that the children of israel ate while they were wandering around in the desert with moses. they only had enough for one day; if they gathered more than they could eat in one day, it would go bad on them. i've seen God work in this way often. He is building our faith and trust in Him, one day at a time.

this morning i was contemplating what i would write for a frugal friday post, and no specific hints or tips came to mind except the most obvious ones. i feel at times as if i'm living as frugally as possible, but then i am reminded of all the luxuries i feel i can't part with, yet i know that if it gets any worse, those things will be the next to go. things like cable tv. a land line for our phone. coffee creamer. insuring our 2nd vehicle. okay, so perhaps i'm thinking too far ahead. i've started going into survival mode in my head, which isn't a terrible thing, but i believe it can stand in the way of my trust in God.

we signed up for WIC the other day, which for me was quite a big deal for some reason. its lifts a great weight off of my shoulders, knowing that if nothing else, we will have milk and cheese and eggs and cereal to eat. but its also incredibly humbling to have to ask for help like that. every day i wonder if i should find a regular night job cleaning tables at denny's or something, and every day i know the answer is the same: no. our family is my #1 priority and that means being here for my two guys every day, making a home for them as my job title suggests. and, after all, i know we won't starve with milk and cheese and eggs coming our way every month...we'll just keep eating omelets!

i've struggled through this entire post, deleting and re-writing things and even deciding for a moment that i won't post it after all. i don't want anyone to think i'm complaining or that i have my hand out, hoping for sympathy. i'm only being honest because i find it difficult to paint a picture of our life that is too pretty and not realistic. i've run out of fun little frugal tips. please post yours in the comments, if you have any. but more than frugal tips right now, we could really use your prayers.

thank you.

tristanless pictures currently on my camera

well, i guess technically this picture isn't tristanless. that's his foot. we were making a picture for daddy and he got the giggles when i started putting crayons in between his toes.


the finished product. in case it's not clear, it reads "for da. love t."


i was trying to get tristan to sit next to me for a together shot, but he only wanted to see the camera screen, so i took this one of myself to show him. if i would have known i'd be posting it on my blog, i think i'd have tidied up a bit more :)

kaylee and sis at sis' birthday party on saturday.


kaylee absolutely adores each and every one of gran and grandpa's chickens. she's such a cutie. started first grade already, i can't believe it!


gramps, with his camera ever ready.


and there's the man i love.

meme

I was tagged by lori and i know i have no business ignoring another meme tag since i haven't blogged in awhile and really should do so. here we go... (btw lori, that's two links in less than a week, i think you owe me a starbucks or something next time you're out here ;))

1. Where is your cell phone? in my deliciously large new purse/diaper bag/carry on that josh bought for me before we left for canada.

2. Where is your significant other? at church, taking an adult sunday school class like the wonderful, godly man that he is. and yes, i realize that just sounded sarcastic but i promise it wasn't.

3. Your hair color? is all-natural, though i've been thinking about going even darker lately

4. Your mother? what about her? she's a sweet elementary school librarian

5. Your father? is about to retire in a few months

6. Your favorite thing? i'm going to keep this blog G-rated and say heavenly hash ice cream

7. Your dream last night? that tristan was crying and crying and crying. and then i woke up and realized that it wasn't just a dream

8. Your dream/goal? to be the best wife/mother i can be with God's help. beyond that, to be honest, i've no idea. i'm sort of living my dream right now!

9. The room you’re in? is an office and also a guest room

10. Your hobby? blogging, duh.

11. Your fear? that now you'll all think i'm lame to have put blogging down as my hobby. but seriously, i think every parent has the same fear that their children will die before they do.

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? living with the same 2 boys i'm living with now, plus a couple more

13. Where were you last night? i was at my in-law's having a great time celebrating sis' birthday with pollo asada burritos and homemade cheesecake and brownies and lemon meringue pie and wheelbarrow rides.

14. What you’re not? very good at standing up for myself

15. One of your wish-list items? an electric toothbrush

16. Where you grew up? in what used to be a small town in british columbia where the grass is green and the flowers grow like weeds

17. The last thing you did? put a very sleepy little boy into bed (he was awake at 4:30 again) and then ate a chocolate banana muffin

18. What are you wearing? jeans and a t-shirt. and socks, which i haven't worn in FOREVER, but its actually a little bit cool today!

19. Your TV? is downstairs and most often shows us mickey mouse clubhouse, ESPN and what not to wear. although, soon it'll be showing us heroes and survivor and lost too.

20. Your pet? don't have one. unless you count the tiny froggies that somehow find their way into our kitchen, only to be stepped on by my bare feet in the morning (i keep thinking i'm stepping on squishy grapes and then when i see what it is, i get so grossed out that my body involuntarily convulses while i yell "oh crap" over and over.)

21. Your computer? is a laptop that i doubt i could live without.

22. Your mood? slighty pms-y if you want me to be honest

23. Missing someone? my mom. always.

24. Your car? is a 2000 honda civic of a sort of indiscernible color (somewhere in between blue and gray) that always seems to be full of crumbs on the inside.

25. Something you’re not wearing? contacts. i need to order more.

26. Favorite store? this is so generic, but i'm going to say target. because if i could choose to have only one store in my town, that would be it. they have EVERYTHING and they're much more hip than wal-mart.

27. Your summer? is coming to an end, which makes me happy. i love fall and cozy warm sweaters and wearing socks to bed and getting to burn candles that smell like somethings baking.

28. Love someone? oh yes. many, many someones.

29. Your favorite color? blue and brown, especially together.

30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday while watching tristan run around wearing one of my mil's long sleeved shirts. he looked sort of like ET.

31. Last time you cried? a couple of days after i arrived home from canada when tristan had a fever and my ankle was purple and we couldn't leave the house and i had to miss seeing friends.

now i get to tag YOU:

dena

korinne

janet

stephanie

funny fishbowl

there are lots of times that i have literally NO inspiration to blog. i will write something, then delete it because i don't think its worthy of posting. i've done a bit of that for the past few days and then took a break and caught up on blog-reading. (again, i'm in LOVE with bloglines and don't know how i ever got on without it!) so i started reading one of my favorite blogs, and i could not help but laugh so hard that i got tears in my eyes. and i figured instead of piecing together bits and pieces that aren't very interesting or funny, i should just send you over to Livin' in a Fishbowl's most recent post so that you can enjoy some GOOD and funny writing. i guarantee that it will crack you up.

elmo

i have found that hand-me-downs are one of the biggest blessings in life. tristan's cousin johnny is now at the age where he enjoys giving tristan clothes that are too small for him or toys that he no longer plays with. one of the toys that we received months ago was an elmo toy that did the hokey pokey when you pressed his hand. at first, tristan didn't like him too much, so we put him away in the closet. a few months later we took elmo out again and found that tristan absolutely ADORED him, carrying him around by his plastic eyeballs and signing "more" to anyone close by before he figured out how to get elmo to sing all by himself.

unfortunately, since elmo had been played with by 2 cousins already, his batteries began to die and, with them, elmo's voice began to slow down in the most creepy way. his voice got lower and slower until it sounded positively horrendous, causing tristan to let go of his plastic eyeballs in disgust. i couldn't find the correct batteries to replace them with at the time, so i stuffed elmo away in one of the kitchen cabinets until i got around to "fixing him" (which, of course, i haven't found the time to do yet!)

even though his singing elmo toy ended up giving him the creeps, tristan soon learned to recognize elmo on tv. every day before his nap, i fix tristan a snack while he sits on the couch and watches a little bit of sesame street. today we arrived home a little later than usual, so i quickly turned the tv on promising tristan that he'd get to watch elmo while i got his snack ready. i had just finished cutting his sandwich into squares when i heard a loud howling cry come from the living room. thinking that he must have hurt himself, i rushed to him, held him tight and began searching his body for blood or bruises. when i couldn't find anything visibly wrong, i asked tristan "what happened?" he pointed to the tv, sobbing as if his heart was breaking. there on the screen were the sesame street characters saying their final farewells before the commercials came on.

i should have known. tristan hates goodbyes. josh and i have started saying "adios" to one another when we leave because the moment one of us utters the word "bye" tristan bursts into tears. perhaps i should write the makers of sesame street, asking them to have the characters say "au revoir" instead? a little bit of bilingualism couldn't hurt!

20 months is the new 2

so, i just got tristan down for his nap and grabbed some leftover chow mein to eat for lunch. i made the couple of phone calls that i've been procrastinating doing for SO long and then it was time to come upstairs and blog for a bit. i took a mini box of smarties from my stash of canadian treats, sat down in front of the computer, opened the box.....and it was full of raisins. i accidentally took a mini box of tristan's raisins instead of smarties. there's just something not quite right about eating a box of raisins when your taste buds were anticipating chocolate. ah well...

i would like to know who sent the memo to tristan that he is already 2 years old. at the wild animal park this morning, i saw a toddler wearing a shirt that read "Warning: I Am 2" i need to get my son one of those. i'm sure every child has their moments of whining and screaming and frustration, but honestly, he's been like that for days now without an end in sight! he walks the other way when i tell him to "come here", he hits us in the face, he shakes his head "no" to every question we ask, and every 10 minutes he is in the kitchen pulling at the door of the fridge, wanting some sort of snack, but shaking his head to everything we pull out for him. i decided today to try to stop asking him if he wants things and to just say "here you go" and it works somewhat, but OH MY GOODNESS whatever happened to my sweet, cuddly little boy?

thankfully, the falling asleep situation is improving. i've graduated from having to leave my hand on his back, to standing near the door, out of his eyesight and only going to him if he starts getting up, only to lay him back down. next step is out the door for me!

josh and i decided that its time for us to go on another date, but after realizing that there aren't any movies we'd like to see, we decided to drop tristan off at josh's folks house as planned, then come back to our house and enjoy a dvd and some cuddles in peace and without fear of interruption. (okay, so get over it that i put in the cuddles part, at least i didn't use a more telling word.) we might just pick up a frozen pizza on our way home and maybe bake some chocolate chip cookies as well. and you know, i'm really looking forward to pretending that we don't have a child for an afternoon. who knows, we may kind of miss his whiny little voice constantly begging for snacks.

okay, enough thinking about those darn smarties. i've really got to go get myself a box of them before my watering mouth threatens to drown me. then i'm off to hang lots of wet laundry on the line.

and so it was that the self proclaimed "Nap Nazi" was forced into being even more flexible than she thought possible

so, to sum it all up, the trip to canada was fun, exhausting, tearful, happy, and a little bit painful. i had more than one person tell me on day 1 of our trip that wishing for tristan to have his own seat in the plane would only end in disappointment. it was a full flight. and yet, i prayed and prayed and God said "ok". the 2 temper tantrums that he had in the san diego airport (one right in the middle of the whole shoe-removal, stroller fold-up, paperwork finding fiasco) faded into a distant memory as he happily licked away at his first lolly pop ever, while rummaging in his very own elmo carry-0n for crayons and stickers to play with. i'm thankful that we played it safe, borrowing a portable dvd player from friends (thanks, janet!) because a lolly pop and crayons and stickers can only entertain for so long before "baby einstein" comes to the rescue. he was napless that day, greeting grammie and grandad with a zoned out stare while i rushed to give hugs.


what ended up becoming exhausting for me was The Sleep Issue which seems to keep popping up and haunting me from the day he was born. of course, he was sleeping in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar house and, though i had brought plenty of things smelling like home, he screamed as soon as i walked out of the door. already tired from a full day of travel, i consented to kneel next to his bed and lay my hand on his back until he fell asleep. i told myself as i knelt there that this would NOT become a new habit and that he'd learn how to fall asleep on his own the very next day. ha ha ha (that is my bitter, mirthless laugh). he never did get used to sleeping on his own and, even though i'd stay with him until he was asleep, he would wake up sometimes 6 times per night calling out for me with a frightened cry. even his naps were interrupted with wails, so again i would kneel down and lay my hand on his back and hush him back to sleep. if he was wound up before bedtime, it would take him 30 minutes or more to fall asleep. now, i know that many parents stay with their children, either rocking or holding them until they fall asleep, but going from leaving him after a goodnight kiss, to sloooowly removing my hand and holding my breath and tip-toeing out of the room after 30 minutes on my sore knees, well, i guess i was just spoiled before because i found it really difficult. the worst part about this Sleep Issue is that it has followed me home! after 10 days of mommy's hand on his back, he refuses to fall asleep any other way. the first night back home we tried letting him cry, but when that never seemed to end, we scrapped that idea and i'm now gradually helping him to fall asleep on his own in stages. its easier on my nerves this way.

despite the lack of sleep, we still enjoyed ourselves immensely. every day we'd do something with my mom. we got to eat at the newest tracy cakes, whitespot, tim hortons and of course we ordered in panago one night. we shopped, (stopping for coffee, of course), walked around mill lake on the one rainless day, and even got to watch a dvd together during one of tristan's naps. my brother and sister, james and cherie managed to come over nearly every day and james treated us all to a feast at his place one evening. i even had a chance to sit and chat with a few dear friends before heading up north to the family reunion.





the reunion was fun. it was great to see so many people that i hadn't seen since my wedding (and who really gets to chat with all of the guests at their wedding?) there are a few cousins i wish i'd talked to more, but with 18 cousins plus spouses, that was difficult to do. tristan had a blast with the other little kids there and constantly wanted to play outside, even though it was SO cold! the reunion was held at a camp where my brother and sister in law live with their daughter, so it was really special to be able to see their home and the gorgeous surroundings they live in. tristan and i were spoiled and got to sleep in the guest room in andy and cara's house rather than in the cabins that everyone else slept in. this allowed cara and i to have a chance to sit and chat for a nice long time, which i enjoyed so much. they have gone through a really rough patch recently due to a miscarriage and it was amazing to see and hear how God has healed and brought them joy in the midst of their pain.


everything was going so wonderfully well and then i went and sprained my ankle. it was monday and tristan and i were due to fly back home on wednesday. my ankle hurt A LOT, but what ended up bringing me to tears was the thought of a stressful day of flying alone with a toddler and a sprained ankle. my husband came to my rescue by contacting the airline and asking that they have a wheelchair for me and someone to push me before and and after each flight. to be honest, the day we traveled home was the most relaxing travel experience i think i've had! people were SO very nice to me, especially the employees of alaska airlines. they carried my carry-ons for me, wheeled me through a special customs booth and security station and the people working there actually SMILED at me, have you ever seen such a thing from airport security workers? tristan either sat on my lap or held my hand and walked next to my wheelchair. at the departure gate, the lady i ordered coffee from creamed and sugared it up just the way i like it and brought me extra napkins and kept asking if i needed help. tristan got his own seat AGAIN on the second flight which was a sort of miracle and nodded off on me just as we were landing in san diego. my mom in law, chris had managed to get permission to wait for us right at the gate instead of at the baggage claim, where she wheeled us down to her car and drove us straight home to a man who was eagerly waiting our arrival.

of course i missed josh terribly. i'd wake up in the middle of the night wondering why he wasn't in bed next to me. we talked on the phone nearly every day, but i didn't expect to long for him the way i did. part of my longing was selfish; being a single mom for 10 days is no easy feat! but i really really missed him and tristan did too. he'd stand at the top of my parent's stairs yelling "da! da!" and, when that yielded no results, he'd point to the telephone and tell me "da." he found many temporary "daddies" to play with until his real one was discovered, though. my brother james, my sister's boyfriend ben, grandad and, of course, plenty of cousins and great uncles at the reunion. a little part of me was slightly concerned that, when we arrived back home, he would turn away from josh. i didn't have to worry. the look of awe and sheer delight that crossed his face when josh came out to greet us brought tears to my eyes. he hugged his daddy so tightly i thought he'd never want to let go.

i wouldn't recommend flying alone with a clingy 1 1/2 year old and leaving your husband for 10 days (unless you don't like your husband very much) however, we did it, it was a GREAT experience, it was totally worth it....and i don't think i'm going to ever do it again!

stay tuned....

...for details about our trip. we made it home yesterday and, due to an injury i got while minding my own business snapping pictures in the grass pictured in the above photo, i'm unable to be on the computer much since my purplish colored foot is requiring elevation, lest it blow up to an unimaginable size and explode. i will update as soon as i'm able. i've got LOTS to share :)