My Mom

One of my earliest blog posts (back in February 2005) was about my mom. I know that most of the people who read my blog now did not read my blog back then, as evidenced in the lack of comments I received :) I am sort of re-publishing the post, though it has been edited and lengthened (hence the proper use of capital letters) because I have just submitted it to an author who is publishing short stories on mother-daughter relationships. I would not consider it my best work, but, if it is chosen for the book, it will be edited and condensed to death anyhow. It is entirely true and I hope that it captures the way I feel about the most important woman in my life. Mom, this one's for you.


Every Tuesday morning, at 7:00am, my mom and I sit and chat over coffee. Sometimes we eat breakfast while chatting, sometimes I’ll whip up a batch of my mean tasting fruit smoothies, but I always, always make sure that The Wiggles are on TV so that my 19 month old son is gloriously entertained for 30 minutes while Mom and I relax and unwind, sharing about how the past 7 days have been. Its unfortunate, however, that my mom isn’t able to compliment me on my fruit smoothies. I am unable to offer her another cup of coffee. She is unable to watch my son dance to the music, but if I hand him the telephone, she can hear him babble away. My mom and I live in 2 different countries.

Staying connected with our weekly phone chats is so very important to us. Of course, there are emails flying back and forth between us during the week and small packages that arrive occasionally in the mail, but because we share such a close relationship, we both need to have that special weekly coffee date to look forward to.

My mom and I haven’t always been this close, though our personalities have always been quite similar. We are both quiet and observant with a weakness for chocolate and for caring too much of what others think of us. There is an unspoken agreement between us that the most important part of every shopping trip is lunch time and we both love to watch people, wondering out loud what they might be saying or thinking.

I understand that the friendship we have is rare, and I honestly can’t explain how we’ve remained so close. I do recall, however, a specific incident that occurred when I was 13 years old. It impacted me greatly and caused me to view my mom in a new light.

The principal of my school called my mom one evening to inform her that I had been caught smoking marijuana on school property. I’ll never forget the calm way in which she received the news. I was expecting the same sort of treatment my friends got from their parents: yelling, threatening and grounding. Instead, my mom told me that she wanted to take me out for dinner, just the two of us. As we were sitting there, eating, I was inwardly cringing, waiting for the gavel to fall. I thought that my punishment was going to be something so awful that she had to tell me in public so that I wouldn’t make a huge scene.

Looking back, I know that I was punished in some way, but I can’t even remember what that punishment was. All I can remember is the gentle, loving way my mom questioned me that evening, wondering why I had done what I did and whether or not I was planning on making more bad decisions so early in life. I was able to be completely vulnerable with her and I opened up and shared with her the pressure I felt to be cool and fit in and all that goes on in a 13 year old’s world.

Ever since then, though I can’t say I made only good decisions after that, I can say that I have continually been able to be just as open and honest with my mom as I was on that day. After every date or party in high school, I’d come home, sit on the side of her bed and tell her all about it. She has been more than just a Mother and a friend to me. She has been my spiritual advisor, my sounding board, my prayer warrior, and my mentor. My mom is the sweetest, most beautiful person I know and no amount of miles could ever change the closeness of our hearts.

cuteness

tristan has been learning that certain foods are hot and, after observing me do it, he now likes to blow on his food in tiny puffs before eating it. yesterday we were at a playground and he was climbing up some stairs to get to the slide. the sun was beating down and the stairs were warm. from where i was sitting, i heard him say "ha!" (which means hot) and then he brought his mouth next to the stair, pursed his lips and blew on it before continuing on.

things i'm loving right now

1. my freshly shaved dear husband who needed none of your suggestions before removing the offending facial hair last week. i did enjoy reading your comments and now i love kissing his whisker-less face :)


2. the sight of all 4 of our sunflowers blooming in our backyard. these are the same sunflowers which began as little seeds in a cup of dirt on my kitchen windowsill. they are now easily 9 feet tall and so gorgeous.


3. pirate's booty. we were introduced to it while visiting our friends in lake tahoe. upon arriving home, i set out to find it and nearly squealed with delight when i spotted it in our grocery store. i claim that i buy it for tristan, but i'm much more addicted to it than he is. it's delicious!

4. gleaning the wisdom of dr. james dobson, in reading his book "the strong willed child." he has some great insights into how to shape the will of a child and also some really good ideas on discipline. i know that my parents used a lot of his teachings in raising me and my siblings, and its neat to note that so much of it is applicable still today.

5. a spotlessly clean, vacuumed out car. thanks to my (freshly shaved) dear husband. he went to work on my car the other evening, even hosing down the floor mats. i told him that, honestly, that was one of the best gifts he could ever give me because i HATE cleaning out my car, but i LOVE having it clean. my baby rocks.


6. starbuck's mint mocha chip frappuccinos. the gift card i've been using as sparingly as possible is almost used up, but there is enough on it for one more. i'm gonna hold out as long as i can, even though just writing the name of it is enough to get me salivating.


7. president's choice zippy fruit strips. these are only available in canada, so my sister was ordered to bring a TON of them down with her. she obliged. they're so great because they pretty much contain just fruit, no added sugar and they are cheap compared with the same sorts of products down here. i always keep a couple in my purse for when tristan is so done in the backseat of the car ....i hand him one of these and he is quiet for at least 5 minutes while he gets completely sticky from head to toe. josh and i love them, too.

8. filling up my car with gas for *only* $4.19/gallon yesterday

9. my cute new shoes that i got at payless with mad money from my cleaning job. they seem to go with everything i own.


10. the way my little boy likes to take daddy's hat and sunglasses off of his daddy and put them on himself, then walks around like he is super cool. he absolutely adores his daddy. ( i do too)

i'm no delilah, but...

...how in the world do i go about asking my dear husband to shave off the thing growing on his face without doing it myself in his sleep? the more i tell him i dislike it, the more intent he is on keeping it. the chin part is now all but gone, leaving these two caterpillar-like lines on either side of his jaw. its beginning to give me nightmares. please help!

there are certain tops that are in style right now that cover over a multitude of sins. they look similar to maternity tops, but without quite so much fabric. they are nicely fitted at the bust, then gracefully flutter outward without sticking onto the ol' muffin top. these tops are my friends. i have a few of them in my closet. however, it was not one of these maternity-top-look-a-likes that i was sporting this morning when asked by a friendly woman when my next baby was due. no, i was wearing what i thought was a slimming sort of black shirt that did not stick to my tummy in any way, nor did it look even remotely like something that could have been purchased in the maternity section. this top is no longer my friend.

the poor lady obviously felt embarrassed and apologized and what else could i do but smile brightly and say "that's okay" while accepting the balloon she was handing to tristan. with the fake smile plastered on my face, i bravely left the grocery store and decided immediately to put the whole thing out of my mind. it was too depressing to think about, so no more thinking about it. the look of wonder on tristan's face upon discovering that the blue balloon was actually HIS helped me to forget and i couldn't help but laugh at his squeals of delight while he batted at the balloon. as i was putting him into his car seat, somehow the balloon got caught in the door and slipped off of the ribbon i had tied to his wrist. away it flew, becoming smaller and smaller by the second. tristan watched it drift away in disbelief and i tried to cheerfully wave "bye bye balloon". his lower lip started to stick out and, sure enough, he started wailing as if his heart was broken. truth be told, i cried too. i figured he had his reasons and i had mine. so we had a bit of a tearfest, then i kissed his wet little cheeks and drove home.

oddly enough, rather than motivating me to get skinny already, that lady's comment made me want to buy a huge tub of ice cream and have at it. i refrained from doing so and tried to think of a less self destructive band-aid i could use to make those words not hurt so much. when josh called me from work later on, i told him what she had said. his words to me were sweeter than any tub of ice cream could ever be. he said, "i think you're perfect just the way you are." band-aid? who needs one. i've got a husband who loves me.

moral of the story? never EVER ask a woman when she is due if you aren't 100% sure she is pregant. and by 100% sure, i mean she's either just told you she is, or she's wearing one of those shirts that says "baby" on it with an arrow pointing to her belly.

point form

we've been busy being summerish. here's a few things that have been happening down here lately:

* tristan was quite sick last week. i don't think i've ever seen him feeling so miserable. he had a fever for 4 days, a sore throat and cough and was also cutting all four eye teeth at the same time. i was so concerned about his fever that i took him to the doctor who assured me that it was just a virus and had nothing to do with his teething, though it was unfortunate that both had to happen at the same time. so basically, tristan and i spent 4 days at home watching baby einstein dvd's with blankets and pillows on the floor of the living room. that got old real quick!

* on wednesday, my friend laura (the one i went to kenya with) drove down for the day and we had such a great time! i had been saving the ketchup chips my parents brought down for me because she's canadian too and misses those sorts of things. laura brought chai tea in remembrance of all the chai we drank in kenya. remarkably, the tea and ketchup chips went together quite nicely! the picture is not the most artistic one i've taken, but it captures a memory. we munched and sipped away while watching never before seen footage (for me anyway) of our kenya trip 9 years ago that laura had recorded. lots of laughs, lots of wistful sighs.

* thursday was the first day of my new "job". i use the word "job" very loosely here, because it isn't very much of a job, but its absolutely PERFECT for a stay at home mom who doesn't want any sort of work to take away from family time. my friend sara cleans offices and she asked me to help her for a couple of months. it's only once a week for around 1 1/2 hours in the evening and i'm so grateful for it! a bit of extra money goes a very long way in this household!

* for the fourth of july weekend we pretty much celebrated every single day with 3 separate bbq's and 3 different groups of people. saturday we spent the entire day in temecula at jessica and rob's and i was happily astounded that tristan napped for nearly 3 hours in his pack 'n play while there! we went swimming and tristan got to practice his favorite new move from swimming lessons- humpty dumpty, where he sits on the edge of the pool while i recite the rhyme, then when i say "had a great fall" i grab him and bring him into the water. josh and i discovered that the little patio outside of our bedroom has the most perfect view of the fireworks. it was actually sort of romantic.

* tristan had to miss 3 swimming lesson sessions due to being sick, but he's had 2 now so far and is enjoying them more than i thought he would. it takes him awhile to warm up to the idea and he whines a bit now and then, but i think he's getting more and more used to it the more he goes. he's getting the cutest little tan.

* my sister flies down for a visit in 3 days! and that's the reason i have to stop here. this house is a pigsty and i really need to get started on cleaning it up.

happy monday, everyone!