same old

went to the doctor yesterday. nothing has changed, just as i expected. he did say that he felt my bag of waters "bulging", which to me sounds hopeful. oh yes, and i actually lost 2 lbs! i know it's common for women to lose a few pounds in the last weeks before delivery, but i thought for sure that with christmas and all i had gained another 5. after the doctor checked me, though (and if you're squeamish, stop reading this now) i stood up and felt a warm gush down my legs. my first thought was "my water broke!" but when i looked down, all i saw was bright red blood. i flagged down a nurse who got the doctor back in pronto and he told me that it was most likely just a broken cappiliary (i think) from him checking my cervix. the blood was not watery at all, so he said it wasn't my water breaking. rats. the blood kinda freaked me out, but it stopped soon after. that's the first time i've ever heard of that happening! all evening long, i really felt like i was on the edge of my seat..like it could and would happen at any moment. josh had a few buddies over for poker night, so i holed up in my bedroom with christmas candy, a good book and season 2 of project runway on dvd. fell asleep at midnight. no contractions, no water breaking, nothing.

looks like he may hold out to be a january baby after all!

and a merry day it was

i've been too entertained by reading about other blogger's christmases to bother writing about mine, but i guess it's time now. so, christmas eve was nice and relaxing. knowing that josh's family would be over the next day for christmas, we puttered around the house tidying things up, while taking breaks in between to watch a few episodes of 24, which we just got on dvd. as we were getting ready to go to the christmas eve candlelight service at church in the evening, i began feeling very uncomfortable aches...kinda like menstrual cramps. no matter what position i sat or stood or layed in, nothing made them feel any better. i really did not want to miss the service, so we went anyway, and i sat there and timed the contractions. i also prayed that i wasn't in real labor because even though we can hardly wait to have this baby, i did NOT want to be in the hospital on christmas day! well, the contractions faded away and by the time we got back home, they were completely gone. we watched it's a wonderful life (a christmas eve tradition) and marveled that, since we've been married, this is the first christmas that we're spending at home...the past 2 years we've been housesitting during christmas.

off to bed we went and, since i still had a head cold, literally tossed and turned and looked at the clock every 15 minutes, willing time to speed up. at 3.30 i got up to go to the bathroom and to my surprise, josh whispered, "you're awake?" apparently, he wasn't having the best sleep either, so after a bit of discussion, we decided to just get up already! we watched another episode of 24, then opened up all of the presents from my family and from each other. by then it was around 5.00, so we crawled back into bed for a couple of hours more sleep before the family came over.

we had a great time with everyone, especially watching the kids. johnny would get so excited about a paritcular present that he'd just hold it in his hand, unopened, and do a bit of a dance before carefully unwrapping it. we paused for breakfast (creme brulee french toast mmmmm) and then kept at it until around 2.00! there was just so much good food, tons of which we still have and our pantry is full from stocking goodies...i have no clue how i'm supposed to start losing weight after tristan is born!

i haven't had braxton hicks as painful as the ones that evening, but now that christmas is over, i'm so ready to have him! today i walked up a long hill near our house in hopes that would get something started, but so far nothing is happening. i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so will update you all then.

a picture that never fails to make me smile

this is the current picture that graces the wallpaper of my laptop. it was taken of me and my sister in law, jessica by 2 troublemaking gentlemen (ie my husband and my brother in law) who then proceeded to "doctor" it up somewhat (you may need to click to enlarge to fully admire their handiwork) as soon as sis saw it she screamed bloody murder. oh yes, we were in kauai at the time, having the most lovely vacation ever. i have it as my wallpaper to remind myself that i used to have a figure (and why did i used to have such an issue with my thighs??) and i am posting it today for all to see because jessica hasn't checked my blog for awhile and i know that she's going to soon and it puts a smile on my face to think of her freaking out when she sees this. love you sis ;)

in other news, i am sick. the kind of sick that sits in your head and refuses to budge no matter how many times you blow your nose. i have gotten through this whole pregnancy completely healthy and then, at the very end (and during CHRISTMAS nonetheless) i go and get all sick, with nothing to ease my pain but lame old tylenol. and lots of mandarins, of course. thankfully, it's just sitting in my head (and my throat and my sinsuses) and hasn't decided to reach down to make the rest of me all achey and i'm hoping and praying that with enough fluids (and mandarins) it will decide to flee by monday so that i won't spend christmas being all oozy and miserable.

i can't believe it's already the 23rd! when i was younger i used to go around on this day saying "today is the eve of christmas eve" and for some reason i thought that was pretty cool. i am really looking forward to tomorrow and think it's lovely that christmas eve falls on a sunday. we get to go to church twice; once in the morning and then again in the evening for the candlelight service, which is my favourite service of the year. i'm hoping that it being on a sunday will cause more people to pause and relax and perhaps not be so panic stricken on the last day before christmas and maybe, just maybe, realize what the true meaning of christmas is all about: God with us. i've been a believer ever since i can remember and that still gives me chills.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

still waiting..

well, tristan is just way to cozy in there to even think about venturing out into this cold, crazy world. we had another doctor's appointment yesterday where we learned that i am STILL dilated the same and about 80% effaced. guesstimate of tristan's current weight is 6.5-7lbs and when i asked the doctor what he thought the approximate day of birth would be, he said in around 6-9 days. josh was very bummed, since he's had his heart set on a christmas baby ever since we found out he'd come early. i, on the other hand, would much rather have his birthday closer to new years so that the celebrations wouldn't collide quite so hard. it's funny how you have a certain date set in your head for so long, then without warning, things change and now we're actually disappointed that he's not making an appearance this early! yes, we are anxious and now that the "danger" week of him being born too early has passed, i'm gonna get up off my butt a little more and see if i can't manage to dilate a couple more centimeters!

okay, here's something i don't quite understand: i'm sitting here next to the window enjoying the rain come pouring down when, suddenly, the sprinkler system comes to life and now our poor lawn is being doused in a waterfall of wetness. hmmm...

yes, its raining and lovely and the heater is on inside and i'm snuggled up in my pink afghan deciding what to do today. i do believe i will forgo any makeup, stay in my pajamas, and make christmas treats all morning, then write thank you notes all afternoon. i'm slightly concerned about this scratchy throat i've had since i woke up this morning. must NOT be sick for christmas. will add "eat more mandarins" to my list of things to do.

me and tristan at 9 months!

36 week belly shot. he's still hanging in there. mild braxton hicks every day. this morning there was a layer of white, sparkling frost on the ground! why do they always say that pregnancy takes 9 months, when in reality 40 weeks = 10 months? hmmmm... am going shopping with sara today, who insists on pushing me around in a wheelchair. i'm hoping to make a couple more batches of peanut brittle as well this week. enough rambles, will write more later.

surprise!

no, the surprise is not that tristan is already here (though darla thought it would be funny to not blog until he arrived and then post that as the surprise) the surprise is that i had a dr. appointment yesterday and found out that i am 2.5 cm dilated and 75% effaced. also, my mucous plug has taken a permanent leave of absence. so.....he really could come any day! since i'm only 36 weeks along, my doctor was a little concerned that he'll show up this week, at which time his respitory system may still be under developed. so i am under strict instructions not to overdo it.. no long walks, no vaccuuming, no sex, no three legged races.. which totally makes sense to me, but at the same time, i feel so unprepared! i mean, i've been focusing on getting ready for christmas and was planning on getting ready for tristan AFTER christmas. my priorities have changed drastically and last night was a whirlwind of activity, as the car seat was installed in the car, the hospital bag was packed, and 3 loads of little tiny clothing was laundered. i even snuck outside while josh was on the phone and vaccuumed out my car. thankfully, my husband knows me well and he is aware that when there are things to be done i CANNOT fathom sitting still. so we went out and got me a few dvd's that i HAVE to watch just so that i'll sit down for part of the day. and honestly, i am being good. i mean, blogging requires sitting and that's what i'm doing!

still, this is all still quite shocking for us, that there's a good chance we'll have baby's first christmas this year instead of next! i had all kinds of scary unprepared dreams last night and finally just got up at 2am and read all about labor and breastfeeding for 2 hours. kinda felt like i was cramming for an exam! so if you could, would you please pray that he stays inside for AT LEAST one more week. after that, we're good to go! i'll keep you all posted.

last year i picked up this "kid friendly" nativity in anticipation for little hands to be playing with it at some point. next year i'm sure little hands will be putting the sheep into a little mouth! the characters are made out of femo and i just love the expression on baby jesus's face. his mouth is a little round "0" and his arms are outstretched as if to say "I'm here, everyone! I may not look like how you thought i would, but it's Me!"

our tree, though this picture does NOT do it justice. we have a vaulted ceiling, so nothing under 8 feet is even considered. this time furniture had to be moved in order to accomodate it and our ceiling fan nearly hits the star!

this year my husband actually beat me at finishing all of his christmas shopping! all of his gifts for me are wrapped and waiting under the tree. i'm very impressed. today is our girl's annual Christmas Cookie Baking day at my mom in law's. Jessica and Kaylee will be there too (and a big HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY KAYLEE!!!!) sugar cookies are my ultimate favorite.

my first week of maternity leave has been fabulous so far.definitely not boring! and thanks to everyone who offered me maternity clothes after reading my last post...i appreciate it so much! i did pick up a couple of clothing items the other day, which already make me feel so much better. only 5 weeks left of wearing the same things...i can handle that.

for those of you who aren't readers of my cousin jennifer's blog, i urge you to click on her link and take a look at her last posts. to think that 2 years ago she was just a cousin i barely knew, but someone that God constantly placed on my heart to pray for, and to see her now, it just brings tears to my eyes! it's amazing to look back and see how God brings people's paths together all for His purposes.

also, my little sister cherie is spending her 3rd christmas in a row away from home. the last 2 years she was in morocco and this year she is in rwanda. she is a missionary based out of paisley, scotland (near glasgow) with Youth With a Mission. i just chatted with her on msn and she is requesting prayer for team unity and for keeping their chins up during christmas, which is always a difficult time to be away from family. their team has seen God work incredibly so far, with 90 widows praying to accept Christ for the first time last week! i'm so proud of my little sis allowing God to use her to make such a difference in the world. i can hardly wait for her to meet her little nephew in summer!

the problem with clothing...

...is that i am no longer fitting into any of it. friday evening was our ladies christmas tea at church and i had been saving a particular red sweater to wear to it. i came home from work and pulled the sweater on, only to find that in the 2 months since i had tried it on, my baby boy had grown so much that he was now attempting to peek out from under it. yes, it was way too short. i had a few moments of panic when clothing started to fly out of my closet as i searched for something ANYTHING nice that didn't expose half of my tummy for all of the world to see. josh even helped by offering some of his button up shirts, which didn't even button up over our son! finally i settled on something less christmas-y, that did in fact keep my tummy warm, as long as i remembered to tug it down every few minutes. the nice thing is that, even though i can no longer wear most of the cute maternity sweaters in my closet (which were loaned to me by zandra) they will shortly be used to flatter the cute little figure of my dear friend j'lene who is due in may.

i have had issues with growing out of my pants even before i got pregnant. for those of you that need a reminder, check out my december 2005 archives and look for the post titled "mistletoe" ah yes, if only i could forget that horridly embarassing day. actually, it looks like it may not be too hard to forget it as a similarly embarassing situation yesterday is causing last year's wardrobe malfunction to pale in comparison.

yesterday was my last day of work (HOOORAAAYY!!) just because he is SO sweet and loving, (and because i begged him to) my dear husband came by during my lunch break to take me out. i removed my standard issue purple apron, grabbed my purse, and we walked to a little mexican restaraunt for some flautas. i noticed a few people that we passed give me a once-over and kind of linger for a moment at my waist, but thought nothing of it as most people stare at my stomach. it's just something pregnant women get used to. so we find ourselves a seat, then i jump up to go grab some napkins. as i'm walking back to our table, i notice a very interesting look on my husbands' face. he is looking at me with some sort of horror and is trying to tell me something. very calmy and quietly, he tells me to sit down and then says, "you have a hole in the front of your pants." i just kind of laughed and said "yeah right" but he insisted that it was true. a little shaken at this information, i asked him how big it was. he held up his fingers to show the size of a baseball. again, i thought "he must be joking" but no, i put my hand there and must have turned completely white. the entire front of my pants had exploded open at some point during the day and, now that my work apron was removed, my underwear was on display for all to see. oh yes, and did i mention that i just so happened to be wearing striped pink and white underwear? classy, heidi. josh told me that he hadn't quite believed it either when he first saw it, but after watching me walk casually around the restaraunt, trying to find some napkins (in view of the MANY people eating there) he realized that he was indeed seeing panties AND flesh (it went low enough to expose my thighs)

my white face quickly turned to red and i don't think i tasted much of my lunch. i held my purse in front of me as we walked back to the store, and then i retreated to the staff room where i made sure that my apron was tied on extra tight. my boss kept calling me SP for the rest of the day (Split Pants) and, by that time, i was able to laugh right along with him. i apologized for having to take the work apron home with me, but he insisted that i keep it. he said i should fold it up and tuck it away somewhere so that when i find it next, i'll be reminded of the day my pants burst open.

oh yes, and one more thing. they weren't even my pants. zandra, i owe you a nice pair of black pinstriped maternity pants!

busy, busy, busy

happily waiting for guests to arrive at my shower, while balancing lemonade on tristan.

action shot of me opening gifts...that's jessica sitting next to me (josh's sister) she's the best.

this cake was lovingly made from scratch by my dear friends sara and zandra. not only does it look fabulous, it tasted like heaven. they're the best, too!

so, my shower was so great....we are blown away by how blessed we are with what we all got. the past couple of evenings have been spent putting away all of his little clothes and everything else. due to all of the diapers that we got, his room now smells like baby. i love it.

on saturday we went and got our christmas tree--an 8 foot grand fir. it's pretty much a perfect tree, and VERY large (okay, so i thought it was large until i saw jennifer's blog) we did have to move our tv to a new spot just so we could see it. i will post pictures of the tree at another time. my dial up takes about 5 minutes to upload each picture onto blogger, so i've been sitting here for some time already.

i only have 4 days left of work until i begin my maternity leave. that will be such a relief for my poor swollen ankles. ooh, and i think i found the perfect substitute for the mandarin oranges that you get in canada. they're clementines, but they're labeled as "easy peel, seed free." still not exactly the same thing, but close enough. i could probably eat a box per day, but since it's $8 a box, i'm limiting myself to 3 or 4. i also had an uncontrollable craving for steak this afternoon, so i have 2 marinating in the fridge for josh to bbq up for dinner. even though i miss the snow, i must say it's nice to be able to bbq all year long.

well, hubby will be home soon and i need to check on my fudge chilling in the fridge (ooh, i feel so domestic)

happy december first!

this morning i was up at 6am to say goodbye to my husband and, even though i got home from work late last night, could not sleep another wink. it's my day off today and the first order of business was to turn every calendar page in the house over to DECEMBER. the second order of business was to put the wreath on the door. i took this picture because i get kind of a kick out of our wreath. i don't believe that it was made for weather as warm as ours. the red paint that surrounds each berry is completely cracked and chipped from sun exposure. it also looks like it needs a bit of a haircut from this picture, but i like it just the way it is. next, i will take out the stockings and other decorations and make this house all christmasy. plus, josh has consented to go pick out our christmas tree tomorrow. HOORAY!!

in our house there are rules. particularly rules pertaining to christmas. i am one of those people who think that only one month to celebrate christmas is a bit too short. i was tickled pink when my favorite christian radio station began playing carols the day after thanksgiving, and ever since then i've been happily in the christmas spirit. i am not, however, as insanely christmas minded as my friend leah d used to be...she would answer the phone with "merry christmas" at any time of year. my dear husband is one of those people who think that christmas songs are over-played and he officially gets sick of hearing them after they have been played once. oddly enough, he is also one of those people that absolutely CANNOT WAIT until christmas to open his presents. he and his sister used to get up super early on christmas morning, open their gifts, then wrap them back up before their parents woke up. that kind of behavior horrifies me. the sacredness of christmas secrets is so important to me, that if i were to accidentally find out what one of my gifts was before the actual day, i would probably start to cry. josh, on the other hand, begs and begs me all month long to open "just one gift". last year he pestered me until midnight on christmas eve, when it was "technically christmas", according to him, so i did give in once.

so, josh's rule about christmas music is that it is not to be played in our house until december first. my rule about christmas presents is that they are not to be opened until december 25th. i guess i kind of broke a rule the other day...

...it was my day off and happily cool enough outside to actually warrant wearing a long sleeved shirt. the picture of my parent's front yard covered in snow graced the background of my computer monitor. i had just come home from the post office with a large package stuffed full of christmas presents from my family, and was just about to start cleaning the kitchen, when i realized that christmas music would really help me clean a lot more thoroughly. besides, josh wouldn't be home from work for hours. i loaded up the cd player with 5 christmas cd's and went to work. it was lovely. that is, until my husband came home from work unexpectedly early. it took him and few moments before he froze, listened, then bellowed, "is this CHRISTMAS MUSIC???!!!" i admitted that it was and kind of pouted when he turned it off. he then announced that he was going outside to work on his truck. i still had the bathroom to clean and, since he wasn't within earshot, i turned the cd player back on. big mistake. he came in not too long after and i scurried to quickly turn the cd off. i wasn't quick enough because he stood in the kitchen, arms folded and said, "you know what this means, right? since you broke my rule, i get to break your rule. i get to open one of these christmas presents from your parents." oh, i begged him not to. i made the saddest faces i could come up with. i told him that i would tell my mom on him. i even offered to allow him to open the one with the christmas ornament inside, but he wanted something hefty with his name on it. after about 15 minutes of discussion, we finally came to an agreement. that evening was spent in me making his dinner, rubbing his feet, while watching whatever dvd he wanted to watch, and then i made crepes for dessert. i did this all with a smile on my face because those precious presents remained untouched.